The state of mind saying everythings alright he's going to a better place whole thing... Heaven... i mean i believe in heaven i believe in god i just believe its not all cracked up to be i guess you can call me an independent christian... i don't know whatever you believe im not gonna fight you on your beliefs im not gonna tell you your wrong because for all i know im wrong.. Because probably to you im just a person that can't accept facts and believe in things that can't possibly seem right... but then when i look at you i just think... Im sorry.. It's a test of faith... this whole world is im not trying to preach to you... im just saying... I've studied quite a bit on how people think that there can't be a greater thing out there.. I get it i totally get it... For most of you it's a what has he ever done for me... well what have you ever done for him? What have you ever done for him? Really? Yes sure maybe you have prayed maybe you have worshipped him but god doesn't give away stuff... some people think if there is a "god" out there then he must be a sick sadistic dick... but then i just say ya well you have "god" to thank for those words you just said... To me an atheist or anything else that doesn't believe in more is a close minded person basing everything he says on other peoples finding... Sure maybe your parents died when you were younger... well god didn't do that... he created earth made is sin free but we as humans introduced sin to this world he had no hand in it... this is something humans ourselves do... see to me i think "non-believers" (i guess we can call them) are just people to afraid to open their eyes and they are too afraid to follow in one way... too be able not to sin.... See your probably by now (if you have read this far) are seeing me as a dumb little christian that goes to church everyday sunday was raised a christian has a perfect life.. and everything is dandy for me... Well no i rarely go to church... i don't pray very often to be totally honest i think majority christians are dumb and don't know anything they say they do but then they make christians look dumb but there are a few like me who know what we are talking about... i haven't read the bible front to back and honestly i doubt the majority of stuff that happened in there... im not saying that i was raised christian i wasn't i found god on my own i have gone through hell in my life... i was beat all my childhood... But i went to my grandparents one day and found a bible i prayed my heart out that day and the next day Child protective services came to our house... and my real father got put in jail and we were free from him.... Maybe it was Chance maybe it was god but i think there are too many chances in the theories of everything i think there is too much "fate" things that have happened in the start of the world to now... Theres just too many so i dunno i just think there is more.. I am sorry if i annoyed somebody with my "closed minded christian thoughts" and i wasn't trying to preech i just wanted to explain