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Rate my Girlfriends short story.
Posted:
Rate my Girlfriends short story.Posted:
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Joined: Aug 28, 201014Year Member
Posts: 254
Reputation Power: 8
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 28, 201014Year Member
Posts: 254
Reputation Power: 8
The dark faded, and the flowers died,
there was no more light in her eyes,
she was tired of everything,
tired of the lies,
but she wanted to tell you this,
one last time,
she loved you to pieces,
even if you couldn't see it,
she never gave up on you,
even if it seemed like it,
she wanted to be with you,
for the rest of her life,
but all there was left,
was time for goodbye.
Emma Lockheart, was simply a 16 year old girl, that didn't know how to express her self any longer,
She grew up in a abusive childhood, and didn't know who to trust anymore, her dad was a drinker,
and her mom died when she was 12, when she lost her mom, it was like losing her life,
her mom was her bestfriend, the O N L Y one she trusted with everything, She visits her moms grave everyday,
While her dad sits on the couch, and drinks from the time he wakes up, till the times he goes to sleep,
She wouldn't be surpized if she lost him soon, he gets so drunk he'll throw the empty beer bottles at her head,
Sometimes, they are full ones. She remembered having dreams once, but they all have faded away over the years,
She didn't care for anything anymore, she ditched school most of the time, if she even went she was late,
She'd never forget her love, the one guy, that when she saw him her heart skipped a beat, she couldn't stand not to smile,
when she was with him, she'd NEVER stop smiling, the only guy that liked her for her, and she knew that,
She knew she'd wouldn't have to say goodbye to him, for a while, and honestly wouldn't want too,
But she knew, if she had to, she could handle it.
Koby Torres, was a 18 year old boy, that couldn't tell you left from right, He was all ways too busy,
either smoking weed, or shooting up herion, He was sent to a orphanage when he was 6, and was adopted when he was the age of 14,
The family that took him in was actually VERY succsessfull, thats why people didn't understand, how he could be so messed up,
when his family he'd grown up in would never even imagine doing that, but the truth was, they didnt want him, they wanted the money,
as long as they took him in, they'd get over 1,000 dollars a month, thats all they wanted, He didn't believe in anything,
until he found Emma, right then and there he knew he loved her, from the time their eyes first met, his heart felt complete again,
he was to shy to make the first move, so he avoided her for a while, he never thought he'd actually get lucky with her,
until he recived a text messasge saying "It's Emma. Meet me in the alley behind the school" he couldn't believe it,
He had finally won her over. . .
"Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posey, ashes, ashes, we all fall down"
The rush of the wind, was tense, as the song played over and again in her mind,
The tapping of her converse hitting the hard concrete ground, got louder and louder as she ran faster,
She met the end of the concrete, and she rushed through a bunch of trees, as Emma pushed the branches out of her face,
Trying not to look behind her, she actually forgot what she was running from to begin with,
but she wasn't going to stop just to figure it out.
She found an opening, into a field it was her only way of escape,
Emma ran out, not even knowing what it was leading too,
The song kept playing, reminding her of her past,
running through the fields, spinning around with her mom,
Her eyes filled with tears, and she hit the ground,
the bushes moved, and she layed still,
whatever she was running from had found her,
and this time, there wasn't an exscape.
Whatever had been following her, was dangerous, and she knew it.
She was hoping it was a dream, praying that she would wake up,
and she'd be in her bed at her house, and not in the middle of a field,
out in the "wild" not knowing a clue where she was,
but she had that gut feeling, there was no returning home for the night.
"ring around the rosey, picket full of posey, ashes, ashes, we all fall down"
She heard it, that time. It wasn't in her head, someone was singing too her,
she felt a hot breath on the back of her neck, and she tempted not to scream,
but all of a sudden, everything was gone. She wasn't in a field,
She was sitting at her computer, talking to Koby on IM,
She had the abilty, to tell the future,
and she wasn't so excited for that to happen.
She flashed back with a -DING- of the IM, going off,
She'd been having this vision for a while I suppose,
Seeming she had 27 new IMs from Koby,
as her fingers ran arcoss the smooth keys, she typed the words
"Meet me, at the Howrd Bhue, now."
Not even giving him time to reply, she logged off,
and rushed out her door, in a hurry to get there before he did,
She rushed through the crowed street, as she got to "Howrd Bhue",
and old abbonded building, that used to be so popular back in the day,
then it bursted into giant flames, and ashes, flung into the sky,
The firefighters didn't even care, they just watched it burn to the ground,
No one hardly ever comes back, To tell you the truth, I don't think anyone has,
The trees have grown over, you have to push through the bushes just to get to the path,
By the time Emma got here, she had blood running down her arm, because all the branches,
Koby still wasn't there, so she sat on the stairs that had be left there,
she was scared, she could feel her heart beating fast and faster, every second,
She could hear movement in the woods, but she told her self "Emma it's just animals, It's just animals"
She was always so paranoid, she was always so scared,
her stomach twirled, and it felt like she was going to get sick,
Wheres Koby?! She thought, where is he?!
Her eyes started to water, and the noises and cracks in the woods got closer, and louder,
as the tension built up, she got more worried,
The cracks and noises and popping stopped, she looked up to find Koby standed right infront of her,
she jumped up, and gave him this huge grasping, type of hug,
"Whatd you need to meet me here for?"
"Koby, the reason, I didn't reply to you, was because I had a vision, and lets just say it wasn't such a good one"
"What do you mean?"
Emma, rubbed her forehead, and said the words more of in a confused voice. " I. . I. . had a vision, that I was being chased,
I guess you could say, but I didn't know of what, I never saw it, but what ever it was, I W A S scared of it"
"Is that so?" Koby said, in a more dangerous voice. .
Her stomach tightened, as he got closer to her,
She backed away, slowly,
It wasn't Koby, she could tell. .
She should've known because Koby would've came threw the other part of the woods,
The shape shifter, changed shapes, as it changed into a demon, like figure,
She tried not to scream, she knew if she did, it'd kill her for sure,
She ran back down the path, as fast as she could, hopefully she'd run into Koby on the way back,
She thought in her head "WHY AM I ALWAYS RUNNING?!"
She was supposed to be a normal girl, a girl that couldn't tell the future, a girl that had a mom, and a regular dad,
She wanted her old life back, She was tired of dealing with shape shifters, and visions,
Everything had made her so paranoid, everything about the world,
She wanted Koby, she wanted to run away, and start new, but she knew,
what ever was in her vision, wanted something, and it WOULD follow her.
She had to realize, she had a gift, and she needed to accept it,
even if she didn't want too.
It was pitch black outside, she'd been running for a while,
Koby never showed up, and if he did, he's most likely dead,
When she reached her front door, she heard her dad screaming,
She rushed through the front door too find her dead, being held by the demon,
he may drink, he may abuse her, but she loves him, he is the only thing she has left, the only thing that keeps her with Koby,
Emma, reached out with a knife in one hand, and Olive Juice in the other . .
She apporached the demon, slowly, and carefully, The tattoo on his neck, proofed he was a shape shifter,
and it was her job to fight the demon, on her own. . and win.
It's not done, but this is what I have so far. . . Let me know what you think!
there was no more light in her eyes,
she was tired of everything,
tired of the lies,
but she wanted to tell you this,
one last time,
she loved you to pieces,
even if you couldn't see it,
she never gave up on you,
even if it seemed like it,
she wanted to be with you,
for the rest of her life,
but all there was left,
was time for goodbye.
Emma Lockheart, was simply a 16 year old girl, that didn't know how to express her self any longer,
She grew up in a abusive childhood, and didn't know who to trust anymore, her dad was a drinker,
and her mom died when she was 12, when she lost her mom, it was like losing her life,
her mom was her bestfriend, the O N L Y one she trusted with everything, She visits her moms grave everyday,
While her dad sits on the couch, and drinks from the time he wakes up, till the times he goes to sleep,
She wouldn't be surpized if she lost him soon, he gets so drunk he'll throw the empty beer bottles at her head,
Sometimes, they are full ones. She remembered having dreams once, but they all have faded away over the years,
She didn't care for anything anymore, she ditched school most of the time, if she even went she was late,
She'd never forget her love, the one guy, that when she saw him her heart skipped a beat, she couldn't stand not to smile,
when she was with him, she'd NEVER stop smiling, the only guy that liked her for her, and she knew that,
She knew she'd wouldn't have to say goodbye to him, for a while, and honestly wouldn't want too,
But she knew, if she had to, she could handle it.
Koby Torres, was a 18 year old boy, that couldn't tell you left from right, He was all ways too busy,
either smoking weed, or shooting up herion, He was sent to a orphanage when he was 6, and was adopted when he was the age of 14,
The family that took him in was actually VERY succsessfull, thats why people didn't understand, how he could be so messed up,
when his family he'd grown up in would never even imagine doing that, but the truth was, they didnt want him, they wanted the money,
as long as they took him in, they'd get over 1,000 dollars a month, thats all they wanted, He didn't believe in anything,
until he found Emma, right then and there he knew he loved her, from the time their eyes first met, his heart felt complete again,
he was to shy to make the first move, so he avoided her for a while, he never thought he'd actually get lucky with her,
until he recived a text messasge saying "It's Emma. Meet me in the alley behind the school" he couldn't believe it,
He had finally won her over. . .
"Ring around the rosey, pocket full of posey, ashes, ashes, we all fall down"
The rush of the wind, was tense, as the song played over and again in her mind,
The tapping of her converse hitting the hard concrete ground, got louder and louder as she ran faster,
She met the end of the concrete, and she rushed through a bunch of trees, as Emma pushed the branches out of her face,
Trying not to look behind her, she actually forgot what she was running from to begin with,
but she wasn't going to stop just to figure it out.
She found an opening, into a field it was her only way of escape,
Emma ran out, not even knowing what it was leading too,
The song kept playing, reminding her of her past,
running through the fields, spinning around with her mom,
Her eyes filled with tears, and she hit the ground,
the bushes moved, and she layed still,
whatever she was running from had found her,
and this time, there wasn't an exscape.
Whatever had been following her, was dangerous, and she knew it.
She was hoping it was a dream, praying that she would wake up,
and she'd be in her bed at her house, and not in the middle of a field,
out in the "wild" not knowing a clue where she was,
but she had that gut feeling, there was no returning home for the night.
"ring around the rosey, picket full of posey, ashes, ashes, we all fall down"
She heard it, that time. It wasn't in her head, someone was singing too her,
she felt a hot breath on the back of her neck, and she tempted not to scream,
but all of a sudden, everything was gone. She wasn't in a field,
She was sitting at her computer, talking to Koby on IM,
She had the abilty, to tell the future,
and she wasn't so excited for that to happen.
She flashed back with a -DING- of the IM, going off,
She'd been having this vision for a while I suppose,
Seeming she had 27 new IMs from Koby,
as her fingers ran arcoss the smooth keys, she typed the words
"Meet me, at the Howrd Bhue, now."
Not even giving him time to reply, she logged off,
and rushed out her door, in a hurry to get there before he did,
She rushed through the crowed street, as she got to "Howrd Bhue",
and old abbonded building, that used to be so popular back in the day,
then it bursted into giant flames, and ashes, flung into the sky,
The firefighters didn't even care, they just watched it burn to the ground,
No one hardly ever comes back, To tell you the truth, I don't think anyone has,
The trees have grown over, you have to push through the bushes just to get to the path,
By the time Emma got here, she had blood running down her arm, because all the branches,
Koby still wasn't there, so she sat on the stairs that had be left there,
she was scared, she could feel her heart beating fast and faster, every second,
She could hear movement in the woods, but she told her self "Emma it's just animals, It's just animals"
She was always so paranoid, she was always so scared,
her stomach twirled, and it felt like she was going to get sick,
Wheres Koby?! She thought, where is he?!
Her eyes started to water, and the noises and cracks in the woods got closer, and louder,
as the tension built up, she got more worried,
The cracks and noises and popping stopped, she looked up to find Koby standed right infront of her,
she jumped up, and gave him this huge grasping, type of hug,
"Whatd you need to meet me here for?"
"Koby, the reason, I didn't reply to you, was because I had a vision, and lets just say it wasn't such a good one"
"What do you mean?"
Emma, rubbed her forehead, and said the words more of in a confused voice. " I. . I. . had a vision, that I was being chased,
I guess you could say, but I didn't know of what, I never saw it, but what ever it was, I W A S scared of it"
"Is that so?" Koby said, in a more dangerous voice. .
Her stomach tightened, as he got closer to her,
She backed away, slowly,
It wasn't Koby, she could tell. .
She should've known because Koby would've came threw the other part of the woods,
The shape shifter, changed shapes, as it changed into a demon, like figure,
She tried not to scream, she knew if she did, it'd kill her for sure,
She ran back down the path, as fast as she could, hopefully she'd run into Koby on the way back,
She thought in her head "WHY AM I ALWAYS RUNNING?!"
She was supposed to be a normal girl, a girl that couldn't tell the future, a girl that had a mom, and a regular dad,
She wanted her old life back, She was tired of dealing with shape shifters, and visions,
Everything had made her so paranoid, everything about the world,
She wanted Koby, she wanted to run away, and start new, but she knew,
what ever was in her vision, wanted something, and it WOULD follow her.
She had to realize, she had a gift, and she needed to accept it,
even if she didn't want too.
It was pitch black outside, she'd been running for a while,
Koby never showed up, and if he did, he's most likely dead,
When she reached her front door, she heard her dad screaming,
She rushed through the front door too find her dead, being held by the demon,
he may drink, he may abuse her, but she loves him, he is the only thing she has left, the only thing that keeps her with Koby,
Emma, reached out with a knife in one hand, and Olive Juice in the other . .
She apporached the demon, slowly, and carefully, The tattoo on his neck, proofed he was a shape shifter,
and it was her job to fight the demon, on her own. . and win.
It's not done, but this is what I have so far. . . Let me know what you think!
#2. Posted:
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Joined: May 29, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,750
Reputation Power: 342
Status: Offline
Joined: May 29, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,750
Reputation Power: 342
You said it was short.. o.o
Anyways i'll read it now i guess. Bored lol.
Anyways i'll read it now i guess. Bored lol.
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#3. Posted:
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Joined: Jan 05, 201014Year Member
Posts: 313
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Joined: Jan 05, 201014Year Member
Posts: 313
Reputation Power: 11
i got threw about half and got bored, good wording but unfortunately it is too boring.
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#4. Posted:
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Joined: Jul 20, 201014Year Member
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I simply did not read this at all, Waste of time bro. post on facebook where people will care.
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#5. Posted:
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Joined: Jul 26, 201113Year Member
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Didnt waste my time reading
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#6. Posted:
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Joined: Jul 06, 201113Year Member
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opened it up. saw how long it was. decided not to read
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#7. Posted:
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Joined: Jun 01, 201113Year Member
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Joined: Jun 01, 201113Year Member
Posts: 2,605
Reputation Power: 136
#8. Posted:
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Give me a paragraph story and i'll read not 3 pages.
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#9. Posted:
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Joined: Apr 13, 200915Year Member
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I'd rate it cool story/10
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#10. Posted:
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Joined: Jun 30, 201113Year Member
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Joined: Jun 30, 201113Year Member
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Reputation Power: 8
DAMN errrr trying not to be rude here but... maybe you should give her a bit more to DO than write LONG storys... y'know?? :facepalm:
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