This Is The Top 44 Ways To Cure Boredom The Funny Way .

this gave me a few laughs. Enjoy.

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Anti-Boredom Activities
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Summary : 44 things to do when you’re
bored.

Written By Shooting Shark.
Uploaded to The Party Line by
Dr.Dolittle

Preface : Everyone’s putting out these
files, right? So, I thought I might as
well release one, since I generally like
to write t-files.

Phone Stuff
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Call a sweep tone or similar obnoxious
number, then call people at random with
three-way.

Call some hacker friends and tell them to
call you back in an hour, because you
think you’re going to be busted.
Forward your calls to the police
department.

Call Kentucky Fried Chicken and ask "Do
you have extra crispy breasts?"

Look up "Mary Stewart" or something in
the phone book. Call this number and
ask for Mary. If they say "she’s not
here", yell "Well where the hell IS that
bitch?"

Ask to use your neighbor’s phone. Call
911 and put the phone down. Leave.


Sibling Meanness
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If you have at least two (younger)
brothers or sisters, wait until they go
to bed, then move them to each other’s
beds.

If you have just one little brother or
sister, put s/he in the bathtub.

Mall Stuff
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Drive down to your local mall and...

Stroll into a Radio Shack. Walk up to
a Color Computer and enter:
10 CLS
20 FOR P = 1 TO 30000 : NEXT P
30 S = INT(255 * RND(1)) + 1
40 SOUND (S,50)
RUN
turn the volume ALL the way up (if the
tv is hooked up to an amplifier,
all the better) and leave the store...

Go into a toy or hobby store and ask to
demo a nice powerful remote-control car.
Stand at the entrance of the hobby store
and ram the car into shoppers.

At the same store, play with one of
those robots where whatever you say into
the handset is echoed through the
robot’s speaker. Hide somewhere within
the store and position the robot at the
front of the store. Proposition women
who walk by.

Still at the mall, light off an M-80 and
yell "Look out, he’s got a gun!"

Go up to some payfones. Place a collect
call to the fone next to you.

Go into a Fredrick’s or other large
lingerie store. Pretend you’re looking
for something to buy for your
girlfriend. Pick up a pair of
crotchless panties (or a similar item)
and ask them to model it for you.

Have them model stuff all night, or
until they catch on that you’re not
going to buy anything.

Bring a porno movie. Go into Video
Concepts and play it on the 40"
projection TV that’s in front of the
store.

Go to Mrs. Field’s Cookies, buy a dozen
large, flat cookies. Go back to Video
Concepts and put them in the CD players.

Go to Macy’s, or Emporium Capwells, etc.
and knock the lingerie off the
manequins. On the female mannequins
that are completely dressed, open the
blouses to the waists.


Go to Brennan’s or Matthew’s and ask the
salesmen if they know they have 200 watt
amps hooked up to 100 watt capacity
speakers.

Bring some condoms (fresh or used) and
casually drop them into shopper’s bags.
Or, leaving them on the floor is fine.

Stand around a part of the mall where a
lot of people walk by. Tell them "Your
sock’s untied."

Go to the mall’s pet store. Put
powdered jello in the fish tanks.

Go to B. Dalton or Waldenbooks. Pick up
some issues of Penthouse. Relocate them
among the children’s books.

Bring some crutches. Take off your
shoe. Walk around with the crutches,
keeping your leg stiff.

Make someone think they bumped into you.
Fall over and scream in pain.

Go to the cutlery store and ask them if
they have 4-foot ninja blades.

Make up some signs that say "Please Use
Other Door" and put them everywhere.

Bring your own blank price tags and a
pen...

Other Stuff
-----------

Get or make some fake explosives (red
tubes tied to an alarm clock, with some
assorted wires sticking out, or a fake
grenade will do) and drive down to a 7-11.
Run into the store, say "Here, catch!"
to the clerk.

Throw them the fake bomb and run out of
the store quickly.

Go through the Burger King
drive-through. Order about twenty
dollars worth of Whoppers, Fries,
Drinks, etc. When she says "will that
be all for you?", say "oh yeah, I’d like
some Chicken McNuggets, too...". When
she says "I’m sorry, we don’t have
those..." etc, tell her to forget it and
drive off.

Get a suction dart gun. Shoot darts at
your cat.

Shoot darts at the TV.

Get your dad’s staple gun out of the
garage. Take it down to Safeway and
put staples in the bread.

Put yellow dye in the swimming pool.
Chocolate syrup is also interesting.

Slap "KKK and Proud" bumber stickers on
your niebhor’s cars.

If your neighbor has a "Le Car", pop a
tire and write "Le Flat" above it.

Grab a can of metallic purple spray
paint and go at your neighbors citrus
tree.

Go down to Main Street. Bring some
chalk and draw sillouettes of bodies on
the sidewalk. A little fake blood can
be added for realism. Draw a sillouette
of a gun.

Buy some Wondra hand lotion

(which is off-white) and put it on
doorknobs, gas pump handles, etc.

Walk to your local gas station late at
night. Re-arrange the metal numbers on
the price signs.

Go to a church and rearrange the letters
on the marquee. Remember that GOD
anagrams into DOG. If there is a sign
saying "Christmas Dinner" take out the
"m".

Make a water-based dye. Paint your dog
polka-dotted. (Don’t do this to your
cat because he will lick off the dye and
get very sick. Save this for your
neighor’s cat.)

Use a little bleach and give your dog
some vertical stripes.

Go out to the country and push cows over.
(This is really fun.)

Throw a rubber 4-square ball off a
freeway overpass.

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That’s It!
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