A Girl Gets crushed by tree?
What is a tree doing in the kitchen

A man walked into the doctors
The Doctor said he had tom jones syndrome
he asked the doctor is it common
The doctor replied its not unusual

What's the difference between a Mexican, and a bench?
Answer: The bench can support a family.

Why do black people wear baggy pants?
Answer: They are KNEE-GROWS (negros)

Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Answer: She had no arms!

A little boy about 12 years old walked down the street dragging a flattened frog on a leash behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a wh0re house and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered
it she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, "I want to do it with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it".

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the
Girls have any venereal diseases?" Of course the Madam said no. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber, THAT'S the girl I want".

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Cynical Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam and headed out the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.

After they leave, my baby-sitter will do it with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught.

When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the dose.


Then when Dad gets home Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and
catch the clap.

The Madam then said, "Well why do you want the Milkman to catch the clap?"

The boy then responded, "CUZ HES THE ONE WHO RAN OVER MY FU***** FROG!"

There was a chicken in my home without ass
She farted and than she exploded....

This isn't much of a joke more than something that has happened...
(This IS true as well, happened around 15 minutes ago)

I was walking in my room to see a comment on PS3 about CoD being better than Battlefield,
I try to post hate mail...

My left thumbstick cracks, and my "X" button gets stuck down...

"Ok, just a controller!" I thought..

Only to trip over my table and fall down the stairs a minute later to find my cousin watching... errr "Nasty Videos" on his iPod, while my parents were arguing with my sister..

This has been the most funny, painful, and awkward night ever...

whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree

wanna here the dirtiest joke in the world?
k here it goes.
guess what?
chicken butt word
who's the biggest prostitute alive?
pac man, that bitch will eat ur balls for 25cents
:One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"

The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.

The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."

''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...''

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''



:Two teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking. After a while the boy stops. "You know we've been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it's time we went all the way," he pleads. "Well, maybe," she says, "But I'm a virgin and I heard it hurts. Besides all those people at the field may hear us." The boy stops and says, "Hmmm, well then if it hurts, start making cow sounds, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing. That way no one will ever guess what we're really doing." The girl agrees so they quickly take off their clothes and get down to business. Ten minutes later people watching the game hear sounds echoing through the quiet countryside so loudly that the teams stop playing. "Moooo ..... Moooooo ...... Moooooooon River .......!"

There were three guys the 1st guy says, I must have the smallest head in the world. The 2nd guy says, I must have the smallest arms in the world. The Third says, I must have the smallest penis in the world. Then they go to the Guinness World Records and the 1st guy says, I do have the smallest head in the world. The 2nd guy says I do have the smallest arm in the world The Third barges in mad and says, who the **** is this Justin Bieber!.
Good Luck Everyone