Ok, this is a bit long, but it is hilarious.. you need to read it carefully to understand

I had just written checks for all the bills that were due that month, and I wanted to go to the post office to get some stamps and mail those checks out, and since I was going in that direction anyway, I thought that I might just as well go to the town dump as well, since I had some trash that needed throwing out, so I put the trash in some of those white plastic bags that you get nowadays, and I started looking around for some of those little wire twisty things that come with the plastic bags, but there wasnt any, leastways, if there was any I couldnt find them, and I looked around pretty carefully, but it didnt matter much because I just twisted the tops of the plastic bags around like into a kind of rope and put a knot in them, which works almost as well as the little twisty things, sometimes better if the bags not too full, and I put the trash in the trunk of my car, and then I had to make another trip back to the house because Id almost forgotten those checks that I wanted to mail, but in the end I did remember them so I went back and got them and then I took off down the road towards the dump, and when I got there I left the motor running while I got out and went around to the trunk and got the garbage out, lifting the bags by the knotted top parts, and I gave them a pretty good heave into the trash pit that they have at the dump there, then I got back in the car and drove off to the post office, but I hadnt gotten more than a half a mile from the dump when I happened to glance down at the fuel gauge and I noticed that there was less than a quarter of a tank of gas in the car, which represents about three gallons, and since my car gets about thirty miles per gallon, I could have driven another ninety miles without putting a drop more gasoline in the tank, and I wouldnt have had to sweat it at all, especially since the round trip to the post office and back to my house wasnt more than five miles at best, so it shouldnt have made much difference whether I bought more gas or not, (not for that day, anyway) but I got to thinking in a philosophical sort of way about how you never know what lifes going to bring you from day to day, and while I didnt have anything planned that would require a lot of driving, still, I figured, it wasnt going to hurt me to put that gasoline in now rather than later, and that way Id be prepared for anything that might come up, at least with regard to any gasoline that I might need, so what I did was when I got to the post office, I went right on past it, just like it wasnt there, and I continued on down the street to this gas station that I knew about that was about six blocks further on the opposite side of the street, but I figured that once I got in there and got my gas, I could just turn around right in the station there and then Id be headed in the right direction to scoot right on back to the post office, which, though you might think otherwise, I hadnt forgot about in the least, so I pulled on into the gas station, making sure to keep the pumps on my left, because on my car thats the side thats got the little gas filler thing and if you get on the wrong side sometimes and you havent pulled up close enough, then they have a hard time reaching it with the hose and if that happens then youve got to start the car up again and move it a little closer, and as I was pulling up I rolled right over that rubber hose that they put out that makes a clanging noise inside the station so they know that somebodys pulled up and wants gas, and it made that clanging noise and within half a minute or so this guy comes out wiping his hands on an old rag or something, because he musta been workin on something greasy inside, and he didnt say a word or anything, he just went right to the pump, took the nozzle out of its holder there and cranked the crank on the side of the pump that sets all the numbers back to zero on all the little dials, and he proceeded to pump the gas, so I leaned my head out the window and told him to make it three dollars worth since all I had with me was five dollars and I had to save some of that to buy stamps with at the post office, but actually I got about three dollars and three cents worth because those pumps pump pretty fast and I guess he couldnt shut it off exactly on the nose, but he only charged me three dollars anyway since I guess that three cents didnt make much difference to him, but at any rate I gave him the five dollar bill and I waited while he went back in the station and got the change because I guess its hard to carry change in your pockets when you are wearing overalls like he was, and when he came back and gave me my two dollars I told him I hoped he would have a nice day and then I started my car up and turned it around right in the station there and headed on back to the post office, where I had to wait a bit in line but I did get those stamps. now you have read this you will realize you have wasted your time and you are going to hate me now