-How do you make a baby frown? Throw a brick at it.
-How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
-Why did the pizza get here before the Chinese food? Because the driver of the automobile -carrying the Chinese food had to stop and get gas.
-Why did Eric fall down the stairs? He was in a wheelchair.
-If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Big **** hands.
-Why was the kid sad? His parents committed suicide after learning their son was a homosexual.
-You know you're **** when you have a penis in your vagina.
-Why couldn't the little boy eat his chocolate? His lips were stapled together.
-A deaf person can't hear this.
-What happens when you eat bullets? You shit bullets.
-Why did Sally fall slide down the slide? A knife was thrown in her direction.
-What would George Washington be doing if he were still alive? Screaming and scratching at the top of his coffin.
-What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.
-What big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A fridge.
-Whats big, yellow, and cant swim? A bulldozer.
-Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.
-Whats red and smells like Blue paint? Red paint.