Here is a collection of jokes that my friends told me. I found these jokes funny but will you?

1. 'Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground'

2. 'I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?'

3. 'Boy: 'Do you like parties?'
Girl: 'Yes, why?'
Boy: 'Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!'

4. 'There is a huge fly in the Police Station, Now don't worry I have called the SWAT Team'

5. 'We have a new person starting today for the Police. He is half man and half horse, Its inspector moorse.'

6. 'What do you do when your wife's staggering? Shoot her again.'

7. 'If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?'

8. 'What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud'

9. 'What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.'

10. 'Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC? Because its finger licking good!'

11. 'What is 6 inches long, 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? A 50 note'

12. 'person 1: Im really lucky that I have my library card with me tonight.'
'person 2: Why?'
'person 1: Because I am totally checking you out!!'

13. 'Doctor, doctor. I have a cricket bat shoved up my arse.'
'Really? Howzthat?'

14. 'I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.'

15. 'Where do fish get their money from? Riverbank.'

16. 'Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party? Because he was a party pooper.'

Here are some school jokes. Tell me if you like them.

17. 'TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?'
JOHN : 'You told me to do it without using tables!'

18. 'Teacher: Can you tell me what a unit of electricity is called?'
Student: 'What?'
Teacher: 'Correct'

19. The teacher shouted angrily,
'If you think you are an idiot then stand up, now!'

After some moment, no one moved. Only a student said, 'Sir, you are the only one who is standing.'

20. 'Jack.' Said the teacher, 'Give me two pronouns'
Jack: 'Who? Me? Sir.'
Teacher: 'Well done Jack.'

Back to normal jokes.

21. 'What is a ghosts favourite dessert?
Ice scream'

22. 'Why did the doctor learn art? In order to learn how to draw blood.'

23. 'In an examination, a question was asked:
2K + K = ?
The student wrote:
3000 Pounds'

24. 'Why is 10 afraid of 7?
Because SEVEN ATE NINE.'

25. 'Found in robot's tomb.' 'Rust In Peace'

26. 'If at first you do not succed. Maybe skydiving wasn't the best idea.'

27. Beggar: 'Actually I am an author. I wrote '100 ways to become rich'

Mr. Roger: 'Then why are you begging?'

Beggar: 'This is one of the ways to become rich.'

28. 'Spell COW in thirteen letters?'
'SEE O DOUBLE YOU.'

29. 'Customer: Does the band which is playing take requests from customers?'
Waiter: 'Yes sir'
Customer: 'Please ask them to stop playing and go home.'

30. Man 1: 'You remind me of a film star.'
Man 2: 'Which one?'
Man 1: 'The one in Planet of the apes'

31. Man1: 'My wife says that if I drink once more, she is going to leave me.'
Man2: 'Oh!'
Man1: 'Am going to miss her.'

32. Friend 1: 'How is your headache John?'
Friend 2: 'It's out shopping now.'

33. Q: 'Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?'
A:'Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!'

34.'Which degree did the dog get?'
A pedigree.'

35. 'What did one telephone say to the other?'
'I got engaged a minute ago!'

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That is it for me know though guys I hope you enjoyed the jokes, sorry if you were offened by any of them.

PM me a joke, if I like it then you get a few reps. Simple.

But I hope you have a wonderful day and stay tuned for more jokes.