Yang wrote

-1996 wrote I know that.
I can't get everyone to like my lyrics.
But I'm just seeing some options.

What do you think?

I honestly really do like them.

Well thank you sir.
20chracters

Working on them lyrics daily.

Assuming your a "rapper" they don't rhyme and those words would have a terrible flow.

Nice rip off of Earl Sweatshirt.

Also, stop abusing the thesaurus, it's painfully obvious, and your lyrics mean zip, because you don't know what you're saying.

Kobeeeeeeee wrote Nice rip off of Earl Sweatshirt.

Also, stop abusing the thesaurus, it's painfully obvious, and your lyrics mean zip, because you don't know what you're saying.

I actually know what I'm saying. Plus I'm not ripping off earl sweatshirt. Every rapper or poet rips off another.

Stain wrote Assuming your a "rapper" they don't rhyme and those words would have a terrible flow.

I'm not worried about flow right now. I'm not a rapper. I'm a poet.

-1996 wrote

Kobeeeeeeee wrote Nice rip off of Earl Sweatshirt.

Also, stop abusing the thesaurus, it's painfully obvious, and your lyrics mean zip, because you don't know what you're saying.

I actually know what I'm saying. Plus I'm not ripping off earl sweatshirt. Every rapper or poet rips off another.

You are hardcore ripping off of Earl Sweatshirt, every rapper or poet does not rip off every other rapper or poet, and either way, you are neither. You may have an idea of what you mean to say, but you sure as hell aren't saying it.

How am I ripping off of earl sweatshirt? Tell me dude.

-1996 wrote How am I ripping off of earl sweatshirt? Tell me dude.

Your entire song is about your father leaving you(or it is, from what I can understand through your broken writing.)

Your lyric:

When I was born,
my father left me fatherless,

Earl's Lyric:

It's probably been twelve years since my father left, left me fatherless.

Your lyric:

took me out for some shoes
Dishonestly I hated it

Earl's Lyric:

And I just used to say I hate him in dishonest jest.

Your Lyric:

Moms would ask me how was it?
Just looked and went torpidity

Earl's Lyric:

Momma often was offering peace offerings
Think, wheeze cough, scoffing and he's off again


For clarification, torpid means mentally inactive, lethargic. Even though it is used incorrectly in this idiotic, terribly written, poem/song/abomination, you can clearly see the lines were ripped off.

-1996 wrote

Stain wrote Assuming your a "rapper" they don't rhyme and those words would have a terrible flow.

I'm not worried about flow right now. I'm not a rapper. I'm a poet.

According to your avatar rap and poetry are the same.

And poems also need to 'flow' and rhyming never hurt anyone.

Maybe try using iambic pentameter, it's pretty simple.