I would love gold here is something that should make you laugh :

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"
i dont know what will make you laugh if you dont die after this

My daughter has Bieber fever.

Or, as it's medically known, Down's Syndrome.

What does a clock do when it is hungry?



If I win, I'd like the gift to go to a friend of mine.

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.

Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
Someday my prints will come...

i would like gold because iam active on ttg everyday and i do what i can to help out the community.

heres a joke Praying is like a rocking chair.
It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.

YOU SHOULD GIVE ME GOLD CAUSE IM A BLACK MAN

What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, an atheist and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a cat.