hello ttg i just wrote my feelings down in i guess you could say rap form and yes the grammar is horrible i was just writing and mispelled alot of words and i just wanted to share with you guys this is a lil bit of my life i write stuff like this to vent

look idgaf ok look my life's a mess and im strugglin to be the very best metaphorically im insane morally im a lil derange i just can not contain these thoughts in my brain you see i was born as a mistake my mother was dating a snake as the jacka** called it give or take so there it is i was the retard baby stuck to machine that soon became the horrible routine stuck on the couch all dad cared about is when he could get his next ounce but my mother stayed beside me she promised me she would be there for eternity she never ate where i could see she would tell me to sing the abc's and she would be back she was like my vitimin c but i was like hepititis b to her i was stuck to her she was scared she always told me if i hear a noise scream mom and shawn would be gone 6 years i could not eat i felt like it was a big deafeat so i would run in the bathroom and lock the door and eat wheat untill i heard feet then came the stick man that thing was a bitch my own family holding me down burning the whole in my stomach i would beg and plead and ask them why but they could not respond they would just pray and tell me its gonna be fine when they could ovisouly read my face like a percentage sign as time went by i started to notice the lies my father tries to confine as his work banging the hotel clerk claiming you were locked out when i knew without a doubt you were breaking in then the sirens came about you would be gone like a trout on heroin lmao guess you could say i was born to sin i had no such thing as christ within i had my first friend at 14 i had no social skills when she came around it gave me the chills it was so weird to meet another kid my age beside's family she never once could come to my house my mother never knew what dad could do if he got loose then came my second friend louis man i thought i was a bigshot then came the abstract thought i was differnt i had a big hole in my stomach and gained nothing from it it honestly scared me so my mom told me to pray i prayed every night my hole would go away and that my father would come back into my life as a positive role model for 3 years i said the same thing every night while i hear a fight in my moms room i started going to church everyone was amazed of how dedicated i was as a youngster i knew what it was like to look in a dumbster for your next supper then here came the agonistic thoughts what if this is a lie what if my mom my mom and dad was programed by some guy how did god get created if he is existent nothing made since i could not believe there is no evidence then came my birthday my mom sneaks everyone in while i was playing my game its a shame but i could not deal i shut the door and broke down on the floor i was in my room for 3 days it was a faze i just could not engage mom said pack your bags were leaving i was done believing i could not believe what i was seeing 5 hours later arrived in pelham at my grandma's i refused to go to school for like 2 months then came the cops i must give them props they threaten me if i dont go there gonna lock me up then came my mom telling me i have to go i guess you could say i reached my plateau and done some things i regret i wish i could just reset but its to late to invest im not like the rest all i ever wanted to be is the best life has been a test but i can honestly say its been for the best