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+Rep | What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?
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+Rep | What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?Posted:

CriticaI
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Read all the jokes before you post yours so we don't get repeats!!

Rules:
    No using Google to find jokes.
    Post how you heard the joke.
    No repeats.
    If there is a swear word leave the first letters then put * behind it.

My Joke:

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

1st Winner:
Dwarfs wrote Not sure if this is right but....
Two man/hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"


One of my favourites! Really like the joke!


2nd Winner:
Nin wrote Why did the pirate take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C



Last edited by CriticaI ; edited 2 times in total

The following 1 user thanked CriticaI for this useful post:

Tom (07-05-2014)
#2. Posted:
EnV
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Why does a Fart smell?
For the benefit of those who couldn't hear it!

I read this joke in a joke book a couple years ago and it cracked up everybody.
#3. Posted:
Rin
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Why did Saleem fall of the bike?
Because she had no arms.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Not Saleem.

It's been posted numerous times on here and I don't remember how it went.
#4. Posted:
Tom
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Not sure if this is right but....
Two man/hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"


One of my favourites! Really like the joke!
#5. Posted:
C10
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Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and asks how do you drive this thing?

Dad told me this one years ago, stuck ever since. Lol


Last edited by C10 ; edited 1 time in total
#6. Posted:
C10
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Dwarfs wrote
Not sure if this is right but....
Two man/hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"


One of my favourites! Really like the joke!
Absolute classic. Lol love it.
#7. Posted:
TehJamJar
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3 girls are driving in the desert, the car brakes down so they decide to walk to the nearest shop they all decide to take one item with them so the first girl takes a water bottle the second girl takes a backpack of food and the third girl well...

she takes the car door and when asked why she wants to take the door she replies..

so i can roll down the window if i get to hot!
#8. Posted:
Whey
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Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls


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#9. Posted:
CosmicPlays
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The One i heard was

So a kid is in the car with his dad gets pulled over by the police dad says "*asted" kid says "what dose *asteed mean dad" dad says "other word for police" they go home dad slips on carpet he says "*hit" what dose *hit mean dad" dad says an "other word for carpet" goes in to the kitchen moms cutting a turky cuts her self *ucking kid says "what dose *ucking mean mom she says "an other word for cutting a turky" kid goes upstirs dads sheving cuts his self *anken kid says what dose *anken mean dad. dads other word for "sheving" 10 mins letter police knock kid says "whats up *asted dad had a *hit on the carpet moms in the kitchen *ucking a truky dads upstirs *anking.




THE END HOPE YOU FIND THIS FUNNY!
#10. Posted:
CRJSM
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Why is the chicken cross the road .. becaus eto get to the other side of the road. Old but very lame.
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