So back in January of last year made a post asking how to deal with death (Original Post and I thought I'd give another update if you want to call it that because I feel like 2014 was a year where I learned a lot about myself and I think my experience might help someone here who's going through depression and is thinking of ending it.

So we'll start from where it left off. I the tail end of January I dropped out of school for the year because I just couldn't function. It was my first time in dealing with the death of a loved one not to mention my best friend. Everyone in my family was kind of in shock for awhile because it happened so quickly.. we all just really were out of it. From February to June I had numerous suicide attempts and thoughts of suicide and if the Colby then decided it wasn't worth going through all that pain and had committed suicide I can't imagine how big of a mistake that'd be. On June 20th I met someone, this someone at the time was my only friend and they gradually turned my life around and I couldn't thank them enough. They were the only person who could make me smile, laugh and just be happy in a time where only darkness surrounded me. I October it was when I learned they went through similar troubles with depression as well so we connected even more and at this time I'm in school again and slowly getting back on the horse. Christmas comes and this person then introduces me to 7 of the most amazing people ever, we all share similar experiences and we could help each other and be each others best friends at a time when people still didn't want to be our friends. On January 19th (anniversary of the death of my Grandpa) I hit a brick wall, could only think of him and so I disappeared for a day and I thought I was going to end it. Then I got a text from one of the people I was introduced too. We texted from 11:30pm to 5am. From that night to March 12th we spoke constantly, since March 12th I have been dating the love of my life. She essentially saved my life and everyday I remind her of that. There's never a time where I'm not happy when talking to her, my life will never be the same because of her and all those other friends. She was basically a flashlight for when I was surrounded by that darkness. Next month we will be together for 6 months and we couldn't love each other more.

So what should you take from this you might ask. Everything, it gets better. I am a prime example of this,mall it takes is one person and you could get right back up on that horse and proceed to do amazing things. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I think I was so **** stupid to jeopardize all I have now. Eventually you'll find a spark of light that'll help you get out of that darkness. So when you're alone, cold and afraid just remember that will change, you got my word.

Sorry that this is horribly typed and punctuated it is currently 3am and I'm super tired.