You are viewing our Forum Archives. To view or take place in current topics click here.
Rep for ALL feedback - POEM ( Please? )
Posted:
Rep for ALL feedback - POEM ( Please? )Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 06, 201014Year Member
Posts: 845
Reputation Power: 38
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 06, 201014Year Member
Posts: 845
Reputation Power: 38
A Long Way Gone
Its been several years since Ive taken a happy breathe,
It seems all that was good in me has suddenly left,
Only a heartless man can take a life without feeling sorrow,
And only a lifeless man should worry about seeing tomorrow,
For as long as your alive, you have the power to change yourself,
And no matter the struggle you can fold the cards youve been dealt,
No one alive can tell you how to live your life, not ever the lord above,
You control your own destiny when push comes to shove,
Life is only temporary while death lasts forever,
So cherish the moments that you have together,
Im a long way gone from living a perfect life,
Im a long way gone from giving into the dark,
Im a long way gone from losing hope in the light,
Im a long way gone from disabling the spark,
When the time comes for us all to bow our heads,
And ask the lord to forgive our sins,
6 billion people will be conjoined hand and hand,
Regardless of the struggle between the lands,
Wars will be disregarded, arguments will be forgotten,
For the world we know is ending, but another one begins to blossom,
Life is one soul in the form of sorrow and scars,
But death is billions across the sky in the form of light and stars,
Im a long way gone from ending ones hate,
Im a long way gone from saving ones life,
Im a long way gone from changing ones fate,
Im a long way gone from stopping ones cries,
I don't know where i'm going in life, but I know I'm going somewhere,
I'm not afraid, because not knowing your future is everyones fear,
Now I know that when I shed a lone tear,
I'm not alone, because this is earth,
And we have oceans of them here.
It seems all that was good in me has suddenly left,
Only a heartless man can take a life without feeling sorrow,
And only a lifeless man should worry about seeing tomorrow,
For as long as your alive, you have the power to change yourself,
And no matter the struggle you can fold the cards youve been dealt,
No one alive can tell you how to live your life, not ever the lord above,
You control your own destiny when push comes to shove,
Life is only temporary while death lasts forever,
So cherish the moments that you have together,
Im a long way gone from living a perfect life,
Im a long way gone from giving into the dark,
Im a long way gone from losing hope in the light,
Im a long way gone from disabling the spark,
When the time comes for us all to bow our heads,
And ask the lord to forgive our sins,
6 billion people will be conjoined hand and hand,
Regardless of the struggle between the lands,
Wars will be disregarded, arguments will be forgotten,
For the world we know is ending, but another one begins to blossom,
Life is one soul in the form of sorrow and scars,
But death is billions across the sky in the form of light and stars,
Im a long way gone from ending ones hate,
Im a long way gone from saving ones life,
Im a long way gone from changing ones fate,
Im a long way gone from stopping ones cries,
I don't know where i'm going in life, but I know I'm going somewhere,
I'm not afraid, because not knowing your future is everyones fear,
Now I know that when I shed a lone tear,
I'm not alone, because this is earth,
And we have oceans of them here.
So this is for a English project but it also comes from the heart and touches on alot of things I feel.. So please tell me if you like it or not. I'm 16 and have been writing for a good year now. Thank you TTG.
#2. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Dec 31, 201014Year Member
Posts: 3,155
Reputation Power: 161
Nice Poem Man!
I liked the end when you said; I'm not afraid. That made me rap the rest
I liked the end when you said; I'm not afraid. That made me rap the rest
- 1useful
- 0not useful
#3. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Dec 31, 201014Year Member
Posts: 3,411
Reputation Power: 214
Status: Offline
Joined: Dec 31, 201014Year Member
Posts: 3,411
Reputation Power: 214
excellent!!! good job! I'm sure you'll do just fine!
- 0useful
- 0not useful
#4. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 19, 201113Year Member
Posts: 326
Reputation Power: 12
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 19, 201113Year Member
Posts: 326
Reputation Power: 12
Great Job!
You'll Be A Good Poet:)
You'll Be A Good Poet:)
- 1useful
- 0not useful
#5. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Nov 21, 201014Year Member
Posts: 105
Reputation Power: 4
Status: Offline
Joined: Nov 21, 201014Year Member
Posts: 105
Reputation Power: 4
if thats your own then thats a great job mate!! you should produce to someone in that industry!!! well done
- 0useful
- 0not useful
#6. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 06, 201014Year Member
Posts: 845
Reputation Power: 38
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 06, 201014Year Member
Posts: 845
Reputation Power: 38
Thanks guys, it really means alot.
- 0useful
- 0not useful
#7. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 06, 201014Year Member
Posts: 845
Reputation Power: 38
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 06, 201014Year Member
Posts: 845
Reputation Power: 38
Any other feedback? Good or bad?
- 0useful
- 0not useful
You are viewing our Forum Archives. To view or take place in current topics click here.