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Your Funniest jokes
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Your Funniest jokesPosted:
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IDEA FROM TIGHE
Post your funniest jokes under here, I will add some every so often
They can be any type of joke: Blonde, Redneck, Yo mamma, et cetera.
How do you make a blonde laugh on a sunday?
Tell her a joke on the friday. [DaleUK]
Putin, Queen Elizabeth, and Obama are all in a plane. The plane crashes and they all go to hell.
The Devil says that they can call their country one last time to discuss some things....
Queen Elizabeth talks for 5 minutes and the Devil charges her $1000.
Putin talks for 30 minutes and the Devil charges him $5000.
Obama talks for 5 hours and the Devil charges him $0.
...Because calling England is a long distance call.
Calling Russia is a long distance call.
However, calling America, would not be a long distance. [KinkyTurtle]
Last edited by Gucci ; edited 4 times in total
Post your funniest jokes under here, I will add some every so often
They can be any type of joke: Blonde, Redneck, Yo mamma, et cetera.
How do you make a blonde laugh on a sunday?
Tell her a joke on the friday. [DaleUK]
Putin, Queen Elizabeth, and Obama are all in a plane. The plane crashes and they all go to hell.
The Devil says that they can call their country one last time to discuss some things....
Queen Elizabeth talks for 5 minutes and the Devil charges her $1000.
Putin talks for 30 minutes and the Devil charges him $5000.
Obama talks for 5 hours and the Devil charges him $0.
...Because calling England is a long distance call.
Calling Russia is a long distance call.
However, calling America, would not be a long distance. [KinkyTurtle]
Last edited by Gucci ; edited 4 times in total
#2. Posted:
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Joined: Feb 24, 201014Year Member
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Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 24, 201014Year Member
Posts: 3,097
Reputation Power: 401
A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.
Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some **** ice cream."
Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs and lay down on the bed."
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix that kid some **** ice cream."
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#3. Posted:
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I'll let someone try to answer this one.
Putin, Queen Elizabeth, and Obama are all in a plane. The plane crashes and they all go to hell.
The Devil says that they can call their country one last time to discuss some things....
Queen Elizabeth talks for 5 minutes and the Devil charges her $1000.
Putin talks for 30 minutes and the Devil charges him $5000.
Obama talks for 5 hours and the Devil charges him $0.
Why?
And you won't find this on Google
(No I'm not racist, this is just a funny joke nevertheless)
Putin, Queen Elizabeth, and Obama are all in a plane. The plane crashes and they all go to hell.
The Devil says that they can call their country one last time to discuss some things....
Queen Elizabeth talks for 5 minutes and the Devil charges her $1000.
Putin talks for 30 minutes and the Devil charges him $5000.
Obama talks for 5 hours and the Devil charges him $0.
Why?
And you won't find this on Google
(No I'm not racist, this is just a funny joke nevertheless)
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Because the devil couldn't see Obama anyway ?????
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#5. Posted:
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Gucci_Xi wrote IDEA FROM TIGHE
okay GUCCI!
if i think of any ill post here!
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ight man i just dohn't want to take credit for something you kinda started
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haha some funny ones there lol
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Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
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Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
How do you make a blonde laugh on a sunday?
Tell her a joke on the friday. ;)
Tell her a joke on the friday. ;)
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This is the answer to my joke above since no one is really trying to answer. So I'll just give the answer away~
...Because calling England is a long distance call.
Calling Russia is a long distance call.
However, calling America, would not be a long distance.
Get it?
(I could make it more crueler and insult Obama also, but I don't think I will for some of the people on here who cannot take a joke >.>)
...Because calling England is a long distance call.
Calling Russia is a long distance call.
However, calling America, would not be a long distance.
Get it?
(I could make it more crueler and insult Obama also, but I don't think I will for some of the people on here who cannot take a joke >.>)
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#10. Posted:
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KinkyTurtle wrote I'll let someone try to answer this one.
Putin, Queen Elizabeth, and Obama are all in a plane. The plane crashes and they all go to hell.
The Devil says that they can call their country one last time to discuss some things....
Queen Elizabeth talks for 5 minutes and the Devil charges her $1000.
Putin talks for 30 minutes and the Devil charges him $5000.
Obama talks for 5 hours and the Devil charges him $0.
Why?
And you won't find this on Google
(No I'm not racist, this is just a funny joke nevertheless)
Because hes black? Because hes not going back to his country? He will die? Idk..
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