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You Know Your Scottish When...
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You Know Your Scottish When...Posted:

DaleUK
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You consider a few hours of sunshine to be an event worthy of note or even celebration. You cheerfully put up with cold and wet weather which would frighten most people from warmer climes.
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It snows every winter, yet nobody in positions of authority ever seems to expect it, and there is consequently some disruption to essential services.
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If you're male and urban, you sometimes wear the kilt in public, and you may have worn it at your wedding.
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Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation, but it's been ruled by one particular one for long periods of time...
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You drive on the left side of the road. You stop at red lights even if nobody's around, and often have to stop at green lights too. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them - except in Glasgow, when the colour of the lights is of no importance.
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The police are not armed.
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The nationality people most often make jokes about is the English. You probably don't make jokes about the Irish - only the English do that.
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You know a wide vocabulary of random Scottish words - an idiot is 'a numpty'. 'Aye'- yes. 'Aye Right'-not likely. 'Auldjin'- someone over 40. 'Baltic'-freezing. 'Dry yer eyes'- aww..diddums.'Dry Boak'-sickened. etc
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Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country etc. you still LOVE it when you'rein a club abroad and they play something Scottish. (you'll probably even ask the DJ to play it…)
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You take a perverse level of pride by the fact that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking related deaths in Europe. At least we know how to party, 'Yer a lang time deed'.
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You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent.
E.g. Glaswegian: 'Awright pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Record, cheers, magic pal'
Fifer: 'Aye, that wifie is getting it oan wi a laddie fae the butchers'
Dundonian: 'Twa bridies, a plen ane in an ingin ane an a'
Aberdonian: 'Fit ya bin up tae, fair few quines in the night eh?'
Invernesian: 'Ah-ee, Right Enufff! 'How's you keeeeeepeeeen?'.
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You see police and hear someone shout 'Errrapolis'.
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You have participated in or witnessed people having a 'square go'.
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You lose all respect for a groom that doesn't wear a kilt to his wedding.
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You know a Scottish male can have a telephone conversation using only the words 'Awright', 'Aye' and 'Naw'.

The following 1 user thanked DaleUK for this useful post:

Neil (08-01-2010)
#2. Posted:
0141
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All true mate, all very true
#3. Posted:
Gucci
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I know im german
#4. Posted:
xSCO
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Gotta love the Scots.
#5. Posted:
ClarkeyAUFC
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I love being Scottish <3
#6. Posted:
und34d_c0wz
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tht was like saturday everyone was like AHH TEH SUN

lol
#7. Posted:
GW369
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im irish. And because of this I now hate the brits!

Lol jk
#8. Posted:
Jealous
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gravedig? this is april 7th its now may 24th
#9. Posted:
skatertg
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Assassinnator wrote gravedig? this is april 7th its now may 24th


Nvm its fine, there connected to his sticky jokes thread.

bbn)
#10. Posted:
JoShMoZzY
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Gucci_Xi wrote I know im german


ich heisse Josh LOL
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