HOW TO BE AN IDIOT
=a troll's perspective=

(After reading, feel free to use the comments section below to test out your newfound skills!)

Do you want to be an idiot?

Good.

Most of you are probably already idiots, and should therefore turn away. If you are unsure of whether or not you are an idiot, view the following sentence and take note of your reaction.

I just got a girlfriend and my jtag just came in the mail.

If you found yourself thinking, "I wish I had a girlfriend." You're probably not an idiot.

If you found yourself thinking, "I wish I had a JTAG." You're probably a child, poor or simply lazy, but not an idiot.

If you found yourself thinking, "lol sweet!" You are an idiot.

If you found yourself smashing your face on your keyboard screaming, "WHY THE HELL DOES ANYONE CARE?!?!" You are most definitely not an idiot.



Over the next few paragraphs I will share with you a few methods to become an idiot, based off of a randomly-timed screenshot of the 'General Discussion' sub-forum.

The objective of this lesson is as follows:

- Piss off idiots
- Teach you how to become an idiot





Here is the picture we'll be working from.
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I'll go through all of the visible topics and make my comments.

This is what Call of Duty does to you

If you want to be an idiot, one of the first tools you should master is posting YouTube videos on the forum.
Not only does the work belong to someone else, but it literally took you no effort to post the link on the forum.

Posting a YouTube video is seen as a plea for attention, and if you want to be a professional idiot you'll want as much attention as you can get.

South Park or familyguy

Being an idiot requires you to look like an Idiot. This is reasonably easy for most idiots in real life because they cannot alter their already idiotic physique, nor do they have the effort to attempt dressing in non-idiot apparel. On forums, all you are is a name and a topic, so if you want to stand out from square one simplyMISSPELL words!

It helps to misspell words in the topic or to completely forget certain grammar rules. In the case of this topic, the poster achieved this by leaving spaces between two well known shows.

BONUS IDIOT TIP
If you want to go the extra mile in being an idiot, post topics that ask people to give their opinion on two topics. This makes a breeding ground for flaming, and part of being an idiot is causing a mess.

Activating Netflix Accounts for Free.

First of all, it always helps to end your topic with punctuation. This makes you seem like an idiot for thinking that it is acceptable to place a statement as your topic. This rule does not apply to questions, which require a question mark in all circumstances.

Second, giving things away for free does NOT make you look like an idiot. DO NOT GIVE THINGS AWAY FOR FREE if you want to be an idiot.

The only exception to this is when you say you are giving something away for free, but ask for +Rep or Thanks in return. Pro idiots like to do also use a second decoy account to post that they won to try and deflect suspicion of a scam.

What to do when you get a random bowner in class!

This poster has done a terrific job of looking like an idiot. Not only have they misspelled the word 'Boner', but they also added an exclamation point to their subject.

However, the cherry on top of this idiot's post was that they talked about penises. Assuming penises aren't censored, talking about them is a great way to look like an idiot online and also gives you that edgy sex offender flavor that all good idiots should have.

TTG.. Whats your Unique Gamertag?

Asking questions to the audience about pointless topics is a decent way to look idiotic. Not only does it ask people to share information that is generally useless, taking up space for legitimate topics, but it also forces users to look at people's posts and read their ignorant responses.

School Advice? D;

Firstly, all idiots must master the crying very sad face.

To do this, first type the letter 'D' followed by the semicolon. D;

This is great for expressing your emotions, which not only are irrelevant online, but also make you seem like a wimp. Showing your sensitive side makes you look like both an idiot and a loser.

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Unfortunately, this is a horrible example of how to be an idiot. This poster did everything wrong, and doesn't come off as an idiot at all.

IF YOU WANT TO BE AN IDIOT, NEVER DO ANYTHING THIS POSTER DOES like:

- Giving things away for free instantly
- Not asking for Rep or Thanks
- Being a gracious human being

This is a danger zone for idiots. Keep away!

Last Ever Medusa Lobby

Posting about shit that nobody has ever heard of is a very great way of being an idiot. However, as an idiot it may be hard to actually discover something that nobody has ever heard about because you tend to follow the crowd and do whatever everyone else is doing.

I Changed Name|Sorry For Spamming

Spamming the forum is the best way to be an idiot. If you're a brave idiot like this guy, you can man-up and actually acknowledge the fact that you are spamming within the spam!

It's like inception, but with spamming.

MY XBOX LIVE ACCOUNT GIVEAWAY! oG Gamertag

By posting oG (meaning 'original gamertag') and then saying Gamertag, this poster has made a perfect example of how to be redundant, a key part of being an idiot.

Original Gamertag Gamertag? Okay, I'm in.

This type of idiocy falls in the same category of forgetting vowels and speaking about things you have never actually experienced.

My birthday is today!!!

The use of multiple exclamation points here is exceptional, but the real idiotic beauty lies within the post itself.

This user has spammed the forum with what I like to call a butthole.

PRO IDIOT DEFINITION

Butthole (noun) A topic that relates to everyone, but is only interesting to the person who it is relevant to specifically. Derived from the saying, "________s are like buttholes. Everyone has one and nobody wants to see anyone else's."

If you could be in any video game what would it be????

We've covered this type of idiocy already. Read the above sections if you still can't recognize how this poster was an idiot.

I Just GIFTED MYSELF GOLD!

The use of all capital letters here really makes the poster seem like an idiot.

If you're going for an idiot/troll hybrid, this post clearly demonstrates the use of a post that clearly promotes one's self.

Rule of Thumb: If you want to piss people off, talk about yourself.

what are some good dubstep songs

Dubstep is a genre of music made for idiots by idiots. Talking about it makes you seem like a veteran idiot and generally adds to your reputation among the idiot community.

Hey Guys check out my YouTube channel

Any topic that could make someone think to themselves, "Who gives a ****?" is one you should be posting if you want to be an idiot. YouTube channels are great for this because they also add that selfish edge you'll need to guarantee your spot within the idiot community.


This concludes the first installment of my tutorial. If you still can't seem to become an idiot after reading and testing these methods, you ought to consider taking a nap and trying again later. If you're lucky you'll have a dream, and sharing your dreams on the internet is a perfect way to start when it comes to looking stupid.