TTGMrSmooth wrote

I'm in a bad mood TTG. I tried to save 2 dogs lives walking down a busy street. Stayed with them in my car for 15 min. Long story but one of them got hit by a bolig truck right in front of my face like 10 feet away. It was crazy.

So I need a good laugh.... Anything. A joke. A pic. Anything goes.

Don't flame or be too stupid.

First place gets +100 rep
Second place gets +50 rep
Third place gets +25 rep






Thank topic if you like and go through all the funny stuff that's bound to come up.

Thanks for cheering me up TTG.

Why do black guys hhave such big d!cks. because they have nothing to play with on christmas. haha

There are 4 guys on an airplane, a italian, a mexican, a asian, an american. they each drive over there country and drop something in it. The italian drops a pizza because they have a lot in his country. The mexican drops a taco over mexico because they have a lot in his country. the asian drops some rice because they have a lot of it in his country. The american throws the mexican off the airplane because he said they have a lot of those in my country.

dummazz420 wrote

TTGMrSmooth wrote

I'm in a bad mood TTG. I tried to save 2 dogs lives walking down a busy street. Stayed with them in my car for 15 min. Long story but one of them got hit by a bolig truck right in front of my face like 10 feet away. It was crazy.

So I need a good laugh.... Anything. A joke. A pic. Anything goes.

Don't flame or be too stupid.

First place gets +100 rep
Second place gets +50 rep
Third place gets +25 rep






Thank topic if you like and go through all the funny stuff that's bound to come up.

Thanks for cheering me up TTG.

Why do black guys hhave such big d!cks. because they have nothing to play with on christmas. haha

There are 4 guys on an airplane, a italian, a mexican, a asian, an american. they each drive over there country and drop something in it. The italian drops a pizza because they have a lot in his country. The mexican drops a taco over mexico because they have a lot in his country. the asian drops some rice because they have a lot of it in his country. The american throws the mexican off the airplane because he said they have a lot of those in my country.

Or just laugh at this guys attempts. (Y)

i would have cried, i love animals

The WNBA! that is a joke.

Lobsters wrote i would have cried, i love animals

Yeah man it was crazy... I can't even describe to you what I saw. It would probably get reported.
But to be honest, I don't wanna talk about it.

sooooo....

iiNSTiNCTzZ_FaNBoY wrote The WNBA! that is a joke.

Holy :idea: this made me laugh pretty hard.

There is 3 men standing at the top of a cliff, 2 white 1 Mexican. One white dude says to the Mexican if you believe in your self, you can jump off this cliff and fly. The Mexican says ok let me see you do it then. So the white dude jumps off the cliff and flys around and comes back and says see i told you, you just have to believe. So the Mexican jumps off the cliff and falls straight down and dies. The one White dude looks at other white dude and says superman why do you got to be so damn racist.

Starzeh wrote There is 3 men standing at the top of a cliff, 2 white 1 Mexican. One white dude says to the Mexican if you believe in your self, you can jump off this cliff and fly. The Mexican says ok let me see you do it then. So the white dude jumps off the cliff and flys around and comes back and says see i told you, you just have to believe. So the Mexican jumps off the cliff and falls straight down and dies. The one White dude looks at other white dude and says superman why do you got to be so damn racist.

Kinda old.

Heard it with "in a bar" "with a drunk" and the guy calls superman a "****"

sorry about what happened hope this helps...

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "Im lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

A young man in a public swimming pool was startled when his swimsuit fell off. He was in the deep end, and couldn't find it, no matter how desperately he looked.
Perplexed, he went to the shallow end and tried to figure out what to do.
As he stood there up to his chest in water and watched the young ladies in their bikinis, he was additionally stressed to realize that he now sported a raging hard on.
Finally, he struck up a course of action. He jumped violently out of the water and shouted loudly, "Mad dog! Mad dog!"
Although most of the others in the pool began screaming in fear, a lusty redhead took a more
direct course of action.
She tore off her bikini bottoms, flattened him on the ground and straddled him yelling, "Quick! Let me muzzle that son of a b*tch before it gets away!"


Little Johnny was 12 years old and, like other boys his age, was rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from older boys and he wondered what it was like and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, his mother told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mom. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile then he turned off most of the lights. He then started hugging and kissing her. I figured Sis must be getting sick because her face started to look funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart just like the doctor would do. He was not as smart as a doctor because he seemed to be having trouble finding it. "I guess he was getting sick too because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it in her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and groan and squirm around and slide down towards the end of the couch. This is when the fever started. "I knew it was the fever because Sis said she felt real hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. A big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest. Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. "When Sis saw it, she got real scared, her eyes got big and her mouth fell open and started calling to God and stuff. She said it was the biggest one she ever saw...... I should have told her about the one down at the lake. "Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while her boyfriend took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel`s head to keep it from biting again. "Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it and he helped by laying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess he wanted to kill it by squeezing it between them. "After a while they both quit moving and a great sigh came forth. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, the eel was dead. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp with some of its insides hanging out. "Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle but they went on courting anyways. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly the eel wasn`t dead after all. It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats with 9-lives. "This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After 35 minutes of struggling, they finally killed it. I knew it was dead because I saw Sis`s boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet....."

Yo moma's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on. So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.
He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.
He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.
Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes.
When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a Happy Birthday!!!