You have many grammatical errors. You should proof read it.

BossModz wrote You have many grammatical errors. You should proof read it.

Tell me what to fix im too lazy to read it

Supraa wrote you will look like a complete nerd. :facepalm:

ROFL like 5 people in my class did this too... They're all gamers ahaha

Is this supposed to be an Essay??

-Wario- wrote Is this supposed to be an Essay??

Ya its supposed to be a Persuasive Essay..

Well I guess...i mean i dont remember grade 8 > that was like 10 years ago
if i had to write one like that it would have to be over 10 pages
Have fun in highschool

I like it you will get a A+ for sure.

You don't save money on Xbox. Because eventually all the Xbox Lve Gold cards are going to stack up.

Cooperatively wrote Have you ever wanted a game but it cost too much money? Well if you did I have a solution for you, the Xbox 360 is cheaper which only costs $250 which includes the Kinect and the Xbox 360. It also has cheaper games because they're not Blu-ray. Another way you save money with the Xbox 360 is that if your game gets scratched you can go to any renting place or Gamestop and get your game fixed for $2, but if Xbox games were Blu-ray you couldn't fix it because Blu-ray can't be fixed which means you would need a totally separate game.

Are you having trouble with online gaming? Well, if you are having trouble I have a solution for you. The Xbox 360 does not lag as much as the PlayStation 3. It also comes out with DLC (downloadable content) a month before the PlayStation 3 gets the DLC.* Another good fact that Xbox is better is that 76% of gamers say that Xbox is more exciting then PS3.

Are you mad that the PS3 servers get down and you can't play online? Well I know that's why I switched to Xbox. Did you know that the Xbox 360 is safer and doesn't get hacked as easily as the PlayStation 3? The Xbox Security staff always is watching the servers for tampering (hackers). If anything happens that you don't like (hackers/trash talking) you can automatically contact Microsoft because they have specialist staff that will assist you in your problem automatically.

Some people say that Xbox is a rip-off because they have to pay for online gaming. But the fact is that Xbox saves you money, it has better online gaming, and it also has better security specialists that can help you with anything that is associated with Xbox.

*Only applies to certain games.

I fixed the spelling and grammar errors.
You should delete or revise the parts I underlined. Scratch that. You should rewrite it all. Some of your facts are BS. And here's a tip: don't start a paragraph with a question; it makes you look unprofessional.

Im not your english teacher dont ask me lol