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what could i improve on?please help
Posted:

what could i improve on?please helpPosted:

Thecookiemons7a
  • New Member
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 24
Reputation Power: 0
Status: Offline
Joined: Aug 10, 201212Year Member
Posts: 24
Reputation Power: 0
i need help with my commentary, i want to know what i could improve, im not really good at the moment but i really want to improve and need peoples advice,please give me feedback:)
here is my channel

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