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Rate my rap i know not the best
Posted:
Rate my rap i know not the bestPosted:
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Joined: Dec 29, 201112Year Member
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Fear - By: SJ CHRONIC
Constatly living life by my fears found out how to get rid of by blood and tears
been missing my dad since i was eight wishing i could say goodbye but i was too late
everyone always judgeing me what shame when they don't know my story or my name
constantly i try to succeed by just trying to live and get my needs
sometimes i just wanna cry but then i just realize why
my fears they are always costing me tear
is it just myself or is it everybody else
i don't know because im living my fears constantly thinking is death near?
Yeah i might be SJ CHRONIC buy i have tons of fears actually beyond it
trying to get through all my regrets just thinking am i just one of gods pets
you know its a new year a time to get past my fears
and the only way to get past is to get rid of all my fears fast
so no longer am i shedding blood and tears because from now on im fear's fear.
Just a rough draft but can i get a honest opinion note i took out a few line's due to explict languge witch i don't think ttg would like !
Constatly living life by my fears found out how to get rid of by blood and tears
been missing my dad since i was eight wishing i could say goodbye but i was too late
everyone always judgeing me what shame when they don't know my story or my name
constantly i try to succeed by just trying to live and get my needs
sometimes i just wanna cry but then i just realize why
my fears they are always costing me tear
is it just myself or is it everybody else
i don't know because im living my fears constantly thinking is death near?
Yeah i might be SJ CHRONIC buy i have tons of fears actually beyond it
trying to get through all my regrets just thinking am i just one of gods pets
you know its a new year a time to get past my fears
and the only way to get past is to get rid of all my fears fast
so no longer am i shedding blood and tears because from now on im fear's fear.
Just a rough draft but can i get a honest opinion note i took out a few line's due to explict languge witch i don't think ttg would like !
#2. Posted:
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Joined: May 07, 201212Year Member
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it's good bro,but you need to really record it
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#3. Posted:
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park wroteit's good bro,but you need to really record it
thanks bro i will but it will take me a while since this is a short rough draft
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#4. Posted:
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thats not bad keep working at it
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#5. Posted:
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Really Good Rap Man Needs A Few Touches.
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#6. Posted:
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it means alot to me everyone it really does.
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#7. Posted:
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That's actually decent, how old are you?
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#8. Posted:
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The structure and overall rhyme scheme are "off" to me.
Too many repeated words, and the usage of fear and tear in the same sentence makes it sound like a nursery rhyme that I would read in a Dr. Seuss book (no offense, honestly). Of course for poetry? It's good. But I couldn't imagine hearing someone rap that, and deliver a good flow to it with the addition of multi-syllable rhyming.. Of course, hearing it would be different but it looks horrible.
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#9. Posted:
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Wisest wrote
The structure and overall rhyme scheme are "off" to me.
Too many repeated words, and the usage of fear and tear in the same sentence makes it sound like a nursery rhyme that I would read in a Dr. Seuss book (no offense, honestly). Of course for poetry? It's good. But I couldn't imagine hearing someone rap that, and deliver a good flow to it with the addition of multi-syllable rhyming.. Of course, hearing it would be different but it looks horrible.
thanks for the feedback man it means alot. honestly i like knowing what people think i have a few song's recorded but there on my phone and like i said it's a rough draft.
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#10. Posted:
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Want to hear mine? Okay sure... Here we go,
- My name's Adam, I'm about to go have a shave, my rhymes don't make sense, MICROWAVE!
- My name's Adam, I'm about to go have a shave, my rhymes don't make sense, MICROWAVE!
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