whats the dif between a cockeral and a blonde?
the cockeral goes ****-a-doodle-doo
a blonde goes any-****-ill-doo

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She's got a grenade in her mouth.


*Blonde driver speeding get pulled over by blonde cop*
Blonde cop: Can I see your drivers licence please?
Blonde driver: What does it look like?
Blonde cop: Small, square and has a picture of you on it.
*Blonde driver fumbles in handbag for a while, and eventually pulls out a small mirror, and hands it to the blonde cop.*
Blonde cop: Oh! I didn't realise you're a cop as well. You're free to go.


There's a blonde waiting a a bus station for the bus to London, but she doesn't know what bus to get on. A cop passes by, and she asks him. The cop tells her to get on the number 54 bus, and moves along.

A couple of hours later, the same blonde is waiting at the same bus station, when the same cop passes by.

"I thought I told you it was the number 54 bus?" says the cop.

The blonde replies, "It won't be long now; the 49th bus has just gone past"

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."