After Arsenal's "accidental" defeat to Aston Villa at the weekend, they are contemplating resolving their every woe in a single fell swoop. Iker Casillas, the Real Madrid goalkeeper, has been displaced by Diego Lpez, and accordingly, Arsenal would like to sign the former. In particular, they are attracted by his ability to play centre-back, right-back, centre-forward, manager, coach and chairman simultaneously. And Casillas, for his part, is said to be understandably ecstatic at the prospect of swapping Madrid for London, the Bernabu for the Emirates and Ronaldo for Theo Walcott. But there is, of course, one stumbling block: Madrid consider him to be worth 15m, and Arsne Wenger considers him to be worth a wrinkled glare. The capacity of the Emirates is 60,361, and the cheapest ticket for their next home game is 62.

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