#1491. Posted:
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hahahahaha yooo mama jokes are the best |
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#1492. Posted:
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I like the (your mama so ugly) jokes a lot nice post |
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#1493. Posted:
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#1494. Posted:
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Your mums so fat, her belly button gets to the door 15 minutes before she does. |
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#1495. Posted:
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Your mommas like a bowling ball, picked up, fingered and thrown in the gutter |
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#1496. Posted:
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1234(( 1234(( 1234(( 1234(( 1234(( 1234(( 1234(( Nice yo momma jokes^^ |
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#1497. Posted:
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DaleUK wrote Hope you guys enjoy this! Fat 2 (Big Update) Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager
Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard Yo momma so fat when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at sea world Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again Your mammas so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide Yo momma's so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family" Yo momma is so fat when she goes to a restaurant she has to be greased in and out of the boothes Yo mamma's so fat she was attacked by japenese mlitary, they thought she was godzillas wife. Yo mamma's so fat when she went on school feild trips the school had to raise fund to feed her. Your momma's so fat she makes free willy look like a goldfish Yo mama is so fat when I layed back on her stomach i rolled twce and I was still in the middle Your momma is so fat, she climbed in the Grand Canyon and got stuck. Yo moma's so fat the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale. Yo mamma's so fat they could hold the olympics on her left butt cheek. Yo mamma's so fat she jumped into the lake and the lake replied "I'll wait my turn." Yo mamma's so fat she filled the bath, got in and all the water poured out. Yo mamma's so fat that she became the center of the solar system. Your Momma's so fat that when she jumped, she got stuck in mid-air Yo mamma's so fat when she wore a red shirt all the kids yelled hey kool-aid Yo mamma's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits around the house. Yo mamma's so fat that when she steps on a scale it keeps going and going and going...........and going Yo mama's so fat when she walked past by TV I missed three episodes Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says I want you weight not your phone number Yo mama's so fat that the last time she had sex it was at a crispy creme dount shop. Yo Mama's so fat slap her on the stomach and you can ride the waves Yo Mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it say's I want your weight not your phone number Yo Mama's so fat, she's the reason they invented double doors Yo Mama's so fat she uses I-95 as a slip and slide. Yo Mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles Yo Mama's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil Yo Mama's so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl Yo Mama's so fat it took three years for her to get liposuction Yo Mama's so fat she uses buoys for ear plugs Yo Mama's so fat she killed the dinosaurs Yo Mama's so fat she cant jump to conclusions Yo Mama's so fat she uses windex for face cleaner Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her Yo Mama's so fat she took her chin as carry on Yo Mama's so fat she throws up gravy Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer Yo Mama's so fat it's not funny Yo Mama's so fat she ate the milky way Yo Mama's so fat she has to wear a wide load sign Yo Mama's so fat that while she walking to Wal-Mart, she tripped over K-Mart, and landed on Target. Yo Mama's so fat the army uses her panties for a parachute. Yo Mama's so fat she makes godzilla loox like an action figure Yo Mama's so fat she needs a wide load stiker on her butt Your mamas so fat she cant even float in space Yo momma is so fat she sat on walmart and lowered the prices. Your Momma's so fat she can go on vacation by rolling over. You momma so fat one time she threw up and out came pinnichio Yo mama is so fat when she turns around its her birthday again Yo mamma's so fat when she went to Tokyo everyone said its GODZILA! Yo momma is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Your momma is so fat the elephant on her shirt is real! Your momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please Your mommas so fat she pooped out an actionfigure. Yo Momma so fat she tripped over Wal-Mart and landed on Target Yo mama so fat that when she walkes she shows up on the rictor scale. Your mama is so fat she steps on a dollar bill and makes change Yo momma so fat when i tryed to walk around her i got lost. Your momma is so fat that when she puts on her red t-shirt she runs through brick walls yellin', "Kool-Aid!" Yo mama so fat when she died and went to heaven lord asked where did my light go??? Your momma is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck Your momma's so fat , she uses Mexico as a tanning bed. Yo momma's so fat when she sings theres a earthquake your mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued Yo momma's so fat that she makes a sumo wresler look like an arexion. Yo momma's so fat that when it rains she where's a yellow jacket and everyone yells taxi. Yo mamma is so ugly and fat when she went out side the kids said run its a dinosour!!! Yo momma's ass is so big that when she sits down she's three feet taller. Your mama's so fat...that when god said let there be light...she moved!!! Your mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it read the air heads motto "Out Of Control" Yo mumma so fat she got stoped at da airport for havin 200 pounds of crack Yo mama is so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Crage is the door Yo momma is so fat last time she seen 90210 is on the scale Your mommas like a brick she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans. Your momma is so big when God said let there be light, he asked her to move. Your mom is so fat, when she walks out of the candy store with a red turtle neck on people start yellin "Kool Aid". Your mama so fat she uses the ocean as a bath tub Your mama's so fat when she walked by a construction site they used her as a wrecking ball. Your mama so fat when she sat on the toilet she said A B C D E F G get your fat ass of of me. Yo Momma Soooooooo Fat...... A Car Crashed Into Her And She Said, "Who Threw That Rock?!" Yo mamma so fat that I told her we won the Super Bowl So she walked outside with a spoon. Yo mamas so fat I get lost around here Your mamma is so fat I shot the ***** and lard came out. Your momma is so fat she got in a monster truck and made it a lowrider! Your momma so fat she tried to take a bath but the water jumped out! Your momma is so fat that she went to the bathroom and the toilet got the **** scared out of it Yo mamma so fat when she missed the school bus she yelled "some one catch my twinky"! Yo momma is so fat that your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss he'd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up! You'r mama's so fat, when she sit's around the house,"she sit's AROUND THE HOUSE"!! Yo Mama's so fat if I put a firecracker up her ass, and it exploded she would be feeding kids in India for years Your momma is so fat she changed the phrase "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"! Yo momma so fat that when I ran around her I got lost! Yo momma so fat..she even carried a spoon to the SUPER BOWL Your momma's so fat, once she jumped in the water, everone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!" Your mommas so fat she plays pool with the planets. Yo momma is so fat she sat down on the bench and her fart went off like a gun shot! Your mammas so fat she sat on the toliet and the toliet said ABCDEFG GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF ME Your mama is so fat her "nickname" is damn Yo mommas so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said,"we don't do curtains". Your mommas so fat she was wearing a yellow shirt and the kids thought she was a schoolbus Your momma is so fat she had cream coming out her arms becuase she ate to many twinkes Yo momma is just like a big mac...shes big, fat, and $1.69 on wednesdays! Yo mamma is like a big mack, fat, juizy, and only worth a buck. Yo momma is so fat her stretch marks spell out her name , " big *****" Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use it as the main sail of my yacht. Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck! Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hotdogs Yo moma is so fat.....fat is a complement!!!!! Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet! Yo momma is so fat the cows try get milk from her Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonaise on asprin. Yo momma's so fat Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph. Yo momma's so fat She could sell shade. Yo your moma so fat,that she had to take her passport photo by satillite. Yo your moma so fat that her belt size is the equater Yo momma's so fat Her blood type is Ragu. Yo momma's so fat When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. Yo momma's so fat She can't even jump to a conclusion. Your mama's so fat she had to iron her clothes on the 405 freeway!!!!! Your momma is so fat, she uses a toilet brush to clean out her belly button! Yo momma's so fat She can't even fit in the chat room. Yo momma's so fat She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo momma's so fat All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma" Yo momma's so fat When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mamma is so fat she takes showers at carwashes Yo momma is so stupid when she hears thunder she thinks someone is making popcorn Yo Mam's So Fat, She Went To Sizzler and the ***** Got A group Discount Your mommas so fat she has to use hula hoops to hold up her socks Yo mamas so fat after sex she rolles over and smokes a ham Yo mama so fat when she died they didn't use a casket they used a mansion. Yo momma so fat i put a quarter in her mouth and pushed her belly button and milk dudes fill out of her ass Yo mamma's got so many rolls she puts Brumby's out a business Your momas so fat that when she got into an elevator the doors couldn't close!! Stupidity * Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples. * Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it. * Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight. * Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone. * Your mom is so stupid, she hung herself with a cordless phone. * Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes. * Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly, "W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?" * Your mom is so stupid, she froze to death in a furnace. * Your mom is so stupid, she burned to death in a freezer. * Your mom is so stupid, she waves her hands around in public and calls it "Air Conditioning" * Your mom is so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors. * Your mom is so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner. * Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out. * Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car. * Your mom is so stupid, she thought she'd unravel if she touched bellybutton * Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a Food City and starved to death. * Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours staring at a bottle of orange juice because it said 'Concentrate.' * Your mom is so stupid, she locked her keys outside of her car. * Your mom is so stupid, she threw a clock out the window to watch time fly. * Your mom is so stupid, she said she was 'illegitimate' because she didn't know how to read. * Your mom is so stupid, she thinks your jokes are funny * Your mom is so stupid, she used a math book to plagiarize her English essay. * Your mom is so stupid, she really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. * Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours to find the "any" key on the keyboard. Oldness * Your mom is so old that I told her to act her age and the ***** died.
* Your mom is so old that she farts dust. * Your mom is so old that the milk in her **** is expired. * Your mom is so old that Moses is in her yearbook. * Your mom is so old that she owes Jesus a quarter. * Your mom is so old that she only has two teeth and they're both in her pocket! * Your mom is so old that she has an autographed version of the Bible. * Your mom is so old that when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick. * Your mom is so old that she reminisces when she reads the Bible. * Your mom is so old that she went to the Virgin Mary's baby shower. * Your mom is so old that she knew Burger King when he was a Prince. * Your mom is so old that when God said 'let there be light,' she was there to flip the switch. Ugliness * Your mom is so ugly SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU.
* Your mom is so ugly that she tried to enter an ugly contest and they said "Sorry, no professionals." * Your mom is so ugly that she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application. * Your mom is so ugly that her teeth are brown and she spits Yoo-hoo. * Your mom is so ugly that when she's on the beach the tide won't come in! * Your mom is so ugly that I went to your house, kicked in the door and your mom came out barking. * Your mom is so ugly that when she got arrested they took her to the SPCA. * Your mom is so ugly that she popped her head out the window and got arrested for indecent exposure. * Your mom is so ugly that she makes blind kids cry. * Your mom is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday. * Your mom is so ugly that when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "****" and they yelled "NO!" * Your mom is so ugly that they filmed 'Gorillas in the mist' in her shower. * Your mom is so ugly that when you went to a fancy restaraunt, she had to sit outside. * Your mom is so ugly, she can't compete to your sister * Your mom is so ugly, she needs TWO paper bags to cover her face * Your mom is so ugly, she can't turn on a computer Hairiness * Your mom is so hairy, that when you were born you got rug burn.
* Your mom is so hairy, they took her to the museum and put her on display as the woolly mammoth. * Your mom is so hairy, she went to a Star Wars convention and the nerds kept asking her for Chewy's autograph. * Your mom is so hairy, when she shaved her ass, she lost ten pounds! * Your mom is so hairy, her ****** have afros. * Your mom is so hairy, before Halloween, everyone thought she was Cousin Itt. * Your mom is so hairy, she makes the wolf man look like a puppy. * Your mom is so hairy, she has to brush her armpit hair. * Your mom is so hairy, she tucks her pubes in her socks. * Your mom is so hairy, it took them three years just to shave off enough hair to see her face. Poor * Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!"
* Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention. * Your mom is so poor that at her funeral, she had to give up her casket in order to pay. * Your mom is so poor that when she wants a gumball she has to put it on layaway. * Your mom is so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk * Your mom is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving". Poor 2 (Updated) Yo mama so poor when I went to rob her house i went in the front door and tripped out the back. Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut. Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her! Yo mama so poor she uses curtains as blankets! Comparisons * Your mom is like a brick, she's dirty, flat on both sides and always get laid by mexicans.
* Your mom is like a 2 by 4, flat, smooth, and easy to nail. * Your mom is like a fire hydrant, on every corner. * Your mom is like a shotgun, two *****: and she's ready to blow. * Your mom is like a screwdriver, everyone gets a turn. * Your mom is like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn. * Your mom is like a lamp, everyone gets a turn. * Your mom is like a bowling ball, she gets fingered and **** down an alley 20 times a night, for 5 dollars an hour * Your mom is like a bowling ball, She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, and you know what? She just keeps coming back for more. * Your mom is like a gas station, pump first then pay. * Your mom is like Burger King, "Your way right away." * Your mom is like Timex, "Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin" * Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of indians. * Your mom is like McDonald's, "Serving Millions." * Your mom is like Domino's, "Hot, Wild, Now." * Your mom is like Home Depot, 50 cents a screw * Your mom is like a refrigerator, every guy loves to stick their meat in her * Your mom is like Pizza Hut, if it's not there in 30 Minutes, it's free * Your mom is like a rail road, laid all over the country. * Your mom is like an SUV, big, black, and full of Mexicans. * Your Mom is like a Nascar Driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day * Your mom is like a door; I banged her all night. * Your mom is like a police station, ***** go in and out of her day and night. * Your mom is like good paint, cheap and easy to spread. * Your mom is like Chinese food, every one gets a chance to eat her out. * Your mom is like a toilet, fat, white and smells like ****. * Your mom is like a bike, everyone can ride. * Your mom is like a fast food restaurant, in n' out, fast and easy. * Your mom is like a seniors bus, older guys get on and off her all day. * Your mom is like a library open to the public. * Your mom is like a chrismas tree, people always hang balls on her. * Your mom is like Marxism, everyone gets a share. * Your mom is like a towel, i use her, get her wet, and leave her on the floor feeling dirty and used Inexpensive prostitution * Your mom is like a hardware store, 5 cents a bolt, 10 cents a screw.
* Your mom is like the Eagles Theater, 75 cents on Thursdays. * Your mom is like Taco Bell, "79, 89, 99" cents. * Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of Indians, open 24 hours a day, and will give me a Slurpee for a dollar. Gothiness *Your mom is so goth that she makes Happy Meals cry.
* Your mom is so goth that when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime. * Your mom is so goth that she ***** bats. * Your mom is so goth that when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the moon. * Your mom is so goth that she sleeps in a coffin. * Your mom is so goth that the only game she plays is Vampire. * Your mom is so goth that when she went through a hip hop phase she became Wesley Snipes. * Your mom is so goth she doesn't even talk * Your mom is so goth she makes ****** look like they got dipped in Grammy's ol' tyme *** batter. * Your mom is so goth she makes Dracula look like a **** princess. * Your mom is so goth that Van Helsing thought she was a vampire and shot her. * Your mom is so goth she painted her eyelids so black, now she's blind. * Who the **** has a goth for a mother? Your mammas so old, she still owes Jesus money. |
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#1498. Posted:
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I can sit here for hour on end laughing my ass off.
Great post you deserve a thanks. |
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#1499. Posted:
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-MetricVenom wrote I can sit here for hour on end laughing my ass off. Ikr! I did one but mine arnt good compared to Dales XD |
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#1500. Posted:
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Yo mama so dumb she tried to schedule a physical with Dr. Pepper |
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