the_hillbilly wrote Well I guess i have depression i was diagnosed in September 2018 and haven't felt right since idk what the hell is going on but my brain feels like cobwebs I cant concentrate cant think properly and quickly as I use to, I have complete and utter apathy to everything and everyone and dont find joy or pleasure in anything anymore like wtf is the point I think my brain shut down and is waiting for my body and self to do the rest. If you look up the mental shutdown theory of depression it makes sense your brain basically says enough is enough and turns everything off so you feel like a numb shell. This is why people commit suicide I see it now and this is exactly why people who aren't depressed call these same people "selfish" or dont understand or even refuse to understand because their brains have never been altered in such a drastic way that depression creates. This mental state is the worst low you can ever achieve and ever since I got it I can truly tell right away when somebody else has never been through it when I talk to them about it and it's like trying to explain the universe or something people dont want to understand depression who aren't depressed because well.. its depressing to them and realistic some say it's the true view of the world and that happiness and "feel good feelings" that we live for are basically distractions from the grey reality we live in basically our minds are lying to themselves. I've learned a lot about this since being diagnosed and i have a few turmoil that I think most certainly had a hand in this onset but I'm worried that I'll be like this for the rest of my life because I will not live like this for the rest of it and now after reading all that I just posted maybe you can get an idea of this illness and understand why it scares people that get it so badly that they take their lives thinking it'll never get better because that's what this illness does it robs of you of EVERYTHING including hope and motivation and willpower and replaced it all with apathy and numbness/sadness.

Tank wrote Whatever yous do is always put up a fight and don't let it get the better of yous there always will be light at the end of the tunnel

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