FunnyThe Ultimate "Your Mom" Joke Thread (Post Here!)
Posted:

FunnyThe Ultimate "Your Mom" Joke Thread (Post Here!)Posted:

DaleUK
  • Halloween!
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 27, 201014Year Member
Posts: 10,806
Reputation Power: 18845
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 27, 201014Year Member
Posts: 10,806
Reputation Power: 18845
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Hope you guys enjoy this!

If you have any of your own - Add them!

Fat

* Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise
* Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot.
* Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!"
* Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
* Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
* Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code.
* Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones.
* Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side.
* Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
* Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
* Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday.
* Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck.
* Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
* Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona
* Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
* Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips.
* Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change.
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
* Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued."
* Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the **** off.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage.
* Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
* Your mom is so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps.
* Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
* Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
* Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
* Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog.
* Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl.
* Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain.
* Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house.
* Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!"
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus.
* Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load".
* Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
* Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
* Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think shes backing up.
* Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell.
* Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down.
* Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping.
* Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
* Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her.
* Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
* Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains."
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levis 1002s.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man.
* Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
* Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
* Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
* Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on.
* Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
* Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower.
* Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
* Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip n Slide.
* Your mom is so fat, shes still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath.
* Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out.
* Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
* Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts.
* Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house.
* Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps.
* Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
* Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides.
* Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not.
* Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole.
* Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3.
* Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek.
* Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her.
* Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now.
* Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
* Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop.
* Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions.
* Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections.
* Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER.
* Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
* Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
* Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
* Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
* Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
* Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
* Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship.
* Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development.
* Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!"
* Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
* Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
* Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
* Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend.
* Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
* Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self.
* Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins.
* Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
* Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale.
* Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her.
* Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet.
* Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live.
* Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
* Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
* Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass.
* Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button.
* Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light.
* Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets.
* Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out.
* Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to.
* Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle.
* Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission.
* Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet
* Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree


Fat 2 (Big Update)

Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager
Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo
Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard
Yo momma so fat when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light
Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at sea world
Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again
Your mammas so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide
Yo momma's so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family"
Yo momma is so fat when she goes to a restaurant she has to be greased in and out of the boothes
Yo mamma's so fat she was attacked by japenese mlitary, they thought she was godzillas wife.
Yo mamma's so fat when she went on school feild trips the school had to raise fund to feed her.
Your momma's so fat she makes free willy look like a goldfish
Yo mama is so fat when I layed back on her stomach i rolled twce and I was still in the middle
Your momma is so fat, she climbed in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo moma's so fat the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale.
Yo mamma's so fat they could hold the olympics on her left butt cheek.
Yo mamma's so fat she jumped into the lake and the lake replied "I'll wait my turn."
Yo mamma's so fat she filled the bath, got in and all the water poured out.
Yo mamma's so fat that she became the center of the solar system.
Your Momma's so fat that when she jumped, she got stuck in mid-air
Yo mamma's so fat when she wore a red shirt all the kids yelled hey kool-aid
Yo mamma's so fat that when she sits around the house she sits around the house.
Yo mamma's so fat that when she steps on a scale it keeps going and going and going...........and going
Yo mama's so fat when she walked past by TV I missed three episodes
Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says I want you weight not your phone number
Yo mama's so fat that the last time she had sex it was at a crispy creme dount shop.
Yo Mama's so fat slap her on the stomach and you can ride the waves
Yo Mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it say's I want your weight not your phone number
Yo Mama's so fat, she's the reason they invented double doors
Yo Mama's so fat she uses I-95 as a slip and slide.
Yo Mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made skittles
Yo Mama's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil
Yo Mama's so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl
Yo Mama's so fat it took three years for her to get liposuction
Yo Mama's so fat she uses buoys for ear plugs
Yo Mama's so fat she killed the dinosaurs
Yo Mama's so fat she cant jump to conclusions
Yo Mama's so fat she uses windex for face cleaner
Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her
Yo Mama's so fat she took her chin as carry on
Yo Mama's so fat she throws up gravy
Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer
Yo Mama's so fat it's not funny
Yo Mama's so fat she ate the milky way
Yo Mama's so fat she has to wear a wide load sign
Yo Mama's so fat that while she walking to Wal-Mart, she tripped over K-Mart, and landed on Target.
Yo Mama's so fat the army uses her panties for a parachute.
Yo Mama's so fat she makes godzilla loox like an action figure
Yo Mama's so fat she needs a wide load stiker on her butt
Your mamas so fat she cant even float in space
Yo momma is so fat she sat on walmart and lowered the prices.
Your Momma's so fat she can go on vacation by rolling over.
You momma so fat one time she threw up and out came pinnichio
Yo mama is so fat when she turns around its her birthday again
Yo mamma's so fat when she went to Tokyo everyone said its GODZILA!
Yo momma is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Your momma is so fat the elephant on her shirt is real!
Your momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please
Your mommas so fat she pooped out an actionfigure.
Yo Momma so fat she tripped over Wal-Mart and landed on Target
Yo mama so fat that when she walkes she shows up on the rictor scale.
Your mama is so fat she steps on a dollar bill and makes change
Yo momma so fat when i tryed to walk around her i got lost.
Your momma is so fat that when she puts on her red t-shirt she runs through brick walls yellin', "Kool-Aid!"
Yo mama so fat when she died and went to heaven lord asked where did my light go???
Your momma is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck
Your momma's so fat , she uses Mexico as a tanning bed.
Yo momma's so fat when she sings theres a earthquake
your mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued
Yo momma's so fat that she makes a sumo wresler look like an arexion.
Yo momma's so fat that when it rains she where's a yellow jacket and everyone yells taxi.
Yo mamma is so ugly and fat when she went out side the kids said run its a dinosour!!!
Yo momma's ass is so big that when she sits down she's three feet taller.
Your mama's so fat...that when god said let there be light...she moved!!!
Your mama's so fat when she stepped on a scale it read the air heads motto "Out Of Control"
Yo mumma so fat she got stoped at da airport for havin 200 pounds of crack
Yo mama is so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Crage is the door
Yo momma is so fat last time she seen 90210 is on the scale
Your mommas like a brick she is flat on both sides and gets laid by Mexicans.
Your momma is so big when God said let there be light, he asked her to move.
Your mom is so fat, when she walks out of the candy store with a red turtle neck on people start yellin "Kool Aid".
Your mama so fat she uses the ocean as a bath tub
Your mama's so fat when she walked by a construction site they used her as a wrecking ball.
Your mama so fat when she sat on the toilet she said A B C D E F G get your fat ass of of me.
Yo Momma Soooooooo Fat...... A Car Crashed Into Her And She Said, "Who Threw That Rock?!"
Yo mamma so fat that I told her we won the Super Bowl So she walked outside with a spoon.
Yo mamas so fat I get lost around here
Your mamma is so fat I shot the bitch and lard came out.
Your momma is so fat she got in a monster truck and made it a lowrider!
Your momma so fat she tried to take a bath but the water jumped out!
Your momma is so fat that she went to the bathroom and the toilet got the shit scared out of it
Yo mamma so fat when she missed the school bus she yelled "some one catch my twinky"!
Yo momma is so fat that your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss he'd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up!
You'r mama's so fat, when she sit's around the house,"she sit's AROUND THE HOUSE"!!
Yo Mama's so fat if I put a firecracker up her ass, and it exploded she would be feeding kids in India for years
Your momma is so fat she changed the phrase "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"!
Yo momma so fat that when I ran around her I got lost!
Yo momma so fat..she even carried a spoon to the SUPER BOWL
Your momma's so fat, once she jumped in the water, everone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!"
Your mommas so fat she plays pool with the planets.
Yo momma is so fat she sat down on the bench and her fart went off like a gun shot!
Your mammas so fat she sat on the toliet and the toliet said ABCDEFG GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF ME
Your mama is so fat her "nickname" is damn
Yo mommas so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said,"we don't do curtains".
Your mommas so fat she was wearing a yellow shirt and the kids thought she was a schoolbus
Your momma is so fat she had cream coming out her arms becuase she ate to many twinkes
Yo momma is just like a big mac...shes big, fat, and $1.69 on wednesdays!
Yo mamma is like a big mack, fat, juizy, and only worth a buck.
Yo momma is so fat her stretch marks spell out her name , " big bitch"
Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use it as the main sail of my yacht.
Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck!
Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hotdogs
Yo moma is so fat.....fat is a complement!!!!!
Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!
Yo momma is so fat the cows try get milk from her
Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonaise on asprin.
Yo momma's so fat Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo momma's so fat She could sell shade.
Yo your moma so fat,that she had to take her passport photo by satillite.
Yo your moma so fat that her belt size is the equater
Yo momma's so fat Her blood type is Ragu.
Yo momma's so fat When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo momma's so fat She can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mama's so fat she had to iron her clothes on the 405 freeway!!!!!
Your momma is so fat, she uses a toilet brush to clean out her belly button!
Yo momma's so fat She can't even fit in the chat room.
Yo momma's so fat She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo momma's so fat All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"
Yo momma's so fat When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mamma is so fat she takes showers at carwashes
Yo momma is so stupid when she hears thunder she thinks someone is making popcorn
Yo Mam's So Fat, She Went To Sizzler and the Bitch Got A group Discount
Your mommas so fat she has to use hula hoops to hold up her socks
Yo mamas so fat after sex she rolles over and smokes a ham
Yo mama so fat when she died they didn't use a casket they used a mansion.
Yo momma so fat i put a quarter in her mouth and pushed her belly button and milk dudes fill out of her ass
Yo mamma's got so many rolls she puts Brumby's out a business
Your momas so fat that when she got into an elevator the doors couldn't close!!


Stupidity

* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a bathroom and pissed in her pants.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to steal free samples.
* Your mom is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
* Your mom is so stupid, she has no feet and complains her shoes are too tight.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she hung herself with a cordless phone.
* Your mom is so stupid, she set the VCR for 2 hours to record 60 minutes.
* Your mom is so stupid, she asked me "What does Yield mean?" and I said, "Slow down." And she said, slowly, "W H A T D O E S Y I E L D M E A N ?"
* Your mom is so stupid, she froze to death in a furnace.
* Your mom is so stupid, she burned to death in a freezer.
* Your mom is so stupid, she waves her hands around in public and calls it "Air Conditioning"
* Your mom is so stupid, she thought a paramedic was two doctors.
* Your mom is so stupid, she tried to change the channel on a TV dinner.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got stabbed at a shoot-out.
* Your mom is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
* Your mom is so stupid, she thought she'd unravel if she touched bellybutton
* Your mom is so stupid, she got locked in a Food City and starved to death.
* Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours staring at a bottle of orange juice because it said 'Concentrate.'
* Your mom is so stupid, she locked her keys outside of her car.
* Your mom is so stupid, she threw a clock out the window to watch time fly.
* Your mom is so stupid, she said she was 'illegitimate' because she didn't know how to read.
* Your mom is so stupid, she thinks your jokes are funny
* Your mom is so stupid, she used a math book to plagiarize her English essay.
* Your mom is so stupid, she really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.
* Your mom is so stupid, she spent hours to find the "any" key on the keyboard.


Oldness

* Your mom is so old that I told her to act her age and the bitch died.
* Your mom is so old that she farts dust.
* Your mom is so old that the milk in her tits is expired.
* Your mom is so old that Moses is in her yearbook.
* Your mom is so old that she owes Jesus a quarter.
* Your mom is so old that she only has two teeth and they're both in her pocket!
* Your mom is so old that she has an autographed version of the Bible.
* Your mom is so old that when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
* Your mom is so old that she reminisces when she reads the Bible.
* Your mom is so old that she went to the Virgin Mary's baby shower.
* Your mom is so old that she knew Burger King when he was a Prince.
* Your mom is so old that when God said 'let there be light,' she was there to flip the switch.


Ugliness

* Your mom is so ugly SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU.
* Your mom is so ugly that she tried to enter an ugly contest and they said "Sorry, no professionals."
* Your mom is so ugly that she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
* Your mom is so ugly that her teeth are brown and she spits Yoo-hoo.
* Your mom is so ugly that when she's on the beach the tide won't come in!
* Your mom is so ugly that I went to your house, kicked in the door and your mom came out barking.
* Your mom is so ugly that when she got arrested they took her to the SPCA.
* Your mom is so ugly that she popped her head out the window and got arrested for indecent exposure.
* Your mom is so ugly that she makes blind kids cry.
* Your mom is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
* Your mom is so ugly that when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "Rape" and they yelled "NO!"
* Your mom is so ugly that they filmed 'Gorillas in the mist' in her shower.
* Your mom is so ugly that when you went to a fancy restaraunt, she had to sit outside.
* Your mom is so ugly, she can't compete to your sister
* Your mom is so ugly, she needs TWO paper bags to cover her face
* Your mom is so ugly, she can't turn on a computer


Hairiness

* Your mom is so hairy, that when you were born you got rug burn.
* Your mom is so hairy, they took her to the museum and put her on display as the woolly mammoth.
* Your mom is so hairy, she went to a Star Wars convention and the nerds kept asking her for Chewy's autograph.
* Your mom is so hairy, when she shaved her ass, she lost ten pounds!
* Your mom is so hairy, her nipples have afros.
* Your mom is so hairy, before Halloween, everyone thought she was Cousin Itt.
* Your mom is so hairy, she makes the wolf man look like a puppy.
* Your mom is so hairy, she has to brush her armpit hair.
* Your mom is so hairy, she tucks her pubes in her socks.
* Your mom is so hairy, it took them three years just to shave off enough hair to see her face.


Poor

* Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!"
* Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.
* Your mom is so poor that at her funeral, she had to give up her casket in order to pay.
* Your mom is so poor that when she wants a gumball she has to put it on layaway.
* Your mom is so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk
* Your mom is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving".


Poor 2 (Updated)

Yo mama so poor when I went to rob her house i went in the front door and tripped out the back.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her!
Yo mama so poor she uses curtains as blankets!


Comparisons

* Your mom is like a brick, she's dirty, flat on both sides and always get laid by mexicans.
* Your mom is like a 2 by 4, flat, smooth, and easy to nail.
* Your mom is like a fire hydrant, on every corner.
* Your mom is like a shotgun, two cocks: and she's ready to blow.
* Your mom is like a screwdriver, everyone gets a turn.
* Your mom is like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn.
* Your mom is like a lamp, everyone gets a turn.
* Your mom is like a bowling ball, she gets fingered and **** down an alley 20 times a night, for 5 dollars an hour
* Your mom is like a bowling ball, She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, and you know what? She just keeps coming back for more.
* Your mom is like a gas station, pump first then pay.
* Your mom is like Burger King, "Your way right away."
* Your mom is like Timex, "Takes a lickin and keeps on tickin"
* Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of indians.
* Your mom is like McDonald's, "Serving Millions."
* Your mom is like Domino's, "Hot, Wild, Now."
* Your mom is like Home Depot, 50 cents a screw
* Your mom is like a refrigerator, every guy loves to stick their meat in her
* Your mom is like Pizza Hut, if it's not there in 30 Minutes, it's free
* Your mom is like a rail road, laid all over the country.
* Your mom is like an SUV, big, black, and full of Mexicans.
* Your Mom is like a Nascar Driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day
* Your mom is like a door; I banged her all night.
* Your mom is like a police station, dicks go in and out of her day and night.
* Your mom is like good paint, cheap and easy to spread.
* Your mom is like Chinese food, every one gets a chance to eat her out.
* Your mom is like a toilet, fat, white and smells like shit.
* Your mom is like a bike, everyone can ride.
* Your mom is like a fast food restaurant, in n' out, fast and easy.
* Your mom is like a seniors bus, older guys get on and off her all day.
* Your mom is like a library open to the public.
* Your mom is like a chrismas tree, people always hang balls on her.
* Your mom is like Marxism, everyone gets a share.
* Your mom is like a towel, i use her, get her wet, and leave her on the floor feeling dirty and used


Inexpensive prostitution

* Your mom is like a hardware store, 5 cents a bolt, 10 cents a screw.
* Your mom is like the Eagles Theater, 75 cents on Thursdays.
* Your mom is like Taco Bell, "79, 89, 99" cents.
* Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of Indians, open 24 hours a day, and will give me a Slurpee for a dollar.


Gothiness

*Your mom is so goth that she makes Happy Meals cry.
* Your mom is so goth that when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime.
* Your mom is so goth that she shits bats.
* Your mom is so goth that when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the moon.
* Your mom is so goth that she sleeps in a coffin.
* Your mom is so goth that the only game she plays is Vampire.
* Your mom is so goth that when she went through a hip hop phase she became Wesley Snipes.
* Your mom is so goth she doesn't even talk
* Your mom is so goth she makes ****** look like they got dipped in Grammy's ol' tyme *** batter.
* Your mom is so goth she makes Dracula look like a **** princess.
* Your mom is so goth that Van Helsing thought she was a vampire and shot her.
* Your mom is so goth she painted her eyelids so black, now she's blind.
* Who the **** has a goth for a mother?


Last edited by DaleUK ; edited 14 times in total

The following 376 users thanked DaleUK for this useful post:

uwu (02-06-2018), Johnny (02-06-2018), Rodent (01-03-2017), TTGDage (06-24-2016), InkJet (05-09-2016), TrueMeaningCOD (04-03-2016), 9nty (02-10-2016), Gennii (02-09-2016), dj (01-10-2016), GnR (12-30-2015), BDSM (12-22-2015), Luke (09-28-2015), Unfortunate (09-14-2015), SFX (09-02-2015), Kaai (08-07-2015), Zatred (07-27-2015), SuperHeroes (07-21-2015), Varieties (07-18-2015), Sky (07-12-2015), Abby (06-20-2015), Super-Fly (05-30-2015), Skates (05-12-2015), ImmDreamer (04-14-2015), -Sky (03-17-2015), kana (02-02-2015), Dinkleberg (10-15-2014), BLVD (10-11-2014), welderboy (09-22-2014), xOksnes (09-14-2014), Tom (08-01-2014), TaZe_DLN (07-29-2014), Dr_Seuss (06-04-2014), Adamu (05-30-2014), PeopleEatSloths (03-20-2014), TWISTEDSUPPLY (03-18-2014), CallMeeKiller (03-12-2014), GoodLooking (01-03-2014), LetsH4ck (12-17-2013), Jayden- (12-09-2013), abcVenom (12-01-2013), _Neymar (08-11-2013), Nervic (08-08-2013), ToxicxTTG (08-08-2013), TTG_Suspect (08-07-2013), Emazed (07-19-2013), HAMR (07-18-2013), Shrill (07-17-2013), Jackk- (07-03-2013), Wubs (07-01-2013), HopeDesign (06-05-2013), MariahCarey (05-16-2013), -NewYork- (05-08-2013), Bushies (02-20-2013), Spirit_Albarn (02-15-2013), ohCowz (01-28-2013), AG_Counterfeit (01-28-2013), Tyler (01-21-2013), -Hex (01-06-2013), TTGPlatinum (12-31-2012), Churro- (12-06-2012), Emazing (11-16-2012), Pou (11-10-2012), --Borderlands-- (10-11-2012), TTGPureLegacyx (09-17-2012), -Pugs- (08-24-2012), rmac2011 (08-18-2012), williamsj08 (08-08-2012), Vaya (07-25-2012), JumpVirus (07-22-2012), HopeFx (07-19-2012), Kixa (07-19-2012), Zac_y0 (07-16-2012), Credentia (07-12-2012), They (06-28-2012), executiveceo (06-19-2012), Lumi (06-09-2012), xJunniorHD (06-09-2012), iSnipeDaily (06-02-2012), TriicKDelta7 (05-30-2012), xXAngryV8 (05-10-2012), Dzh (05-09-2012), DubbySoPro (05-05-2012), nanoipod (05-03-2012), Mythic- (05-02-2012), ZerosAlwaysOne (04-28-2012), Lagwagon (04-27-2012), Swagnila_Ice (04-25-2012), Chi (04-24-2012), Ash_Ketchum (04-21-2012), MrBerrics (04-17-2012), Symptom (04-02-2012), mcarlson33 (03-27-2012), kooliobeast (03-23-2012), XxXTreyXxX (03-20-2012), Lipid (03-18-2012), EuanMcIntyre (03-15-2012), Dawg8 (03-14-2012), ant2442 (02-23-2012), SzMaGiiCzS (02-19-2012), Monster-_-SwAg (02-18-2012) and 276 other members.
insane10marin3 (02-14-2012), Craig (02-13-2012), Infected_Aidan (02-12-2012), StaTiKzz (01-27-2012), TSGxFly (01-25-2012), AR15 (01-23-2012), PoisonGloom (01-14-2012), Fussionzzz_x (01-05-2012), TTG_CARREFOUR (01-04-2012), Discount (12-31-2011), -BCA- (12-30-2011), -Boomer- (12-29-2011), -Excite- (12-23-2011), Persist (12-21-2011), _Lax_ (12-21-2011), TheBeastMode (12-20-2011), TTG_Con (12-18-2011), Reattain (12-18-2011), JtagHDModz (12-17-2011), Resolute (12-11-2011), higuy (12-11-2011), Codeito (12-09-2011), BBOX (12-07-2011), som3_ttg (12-05-2011), -Censored- (12-04-2011), TONYMC99 (11-30-2011), 7777Thekman (11-29-2011), kuperman11 (11-25-2011), xBOSSxF3AR (11-25-2011), xPHILLIPx123 (11-23-2011), FLaasHx (11-21-2011), Mikss (11-15-2011), supermodmonkey (11-14-2011), Sleawnis (11-14-2011), Tobacco (11-13-2011), Kraixo (11-13-2011), TTGxJT4GxSean (11-13-2011), -Effy (11-11-2011), TTGxGANGSTA (11-06-2011), TTG_Bini (11-05-2011), STSxLeader (11-05-2011), Worst (11-02-2011), walkawalkawalk (11-01-2011), homebrew_for_u (10-30-2011), TTG_BurgerKing (10-27-2011), Booster-1 (10-26-2011), SpawnTrap123 (10-25-2011), Amex (10-23-2011), TTG_CROaTiA (10-23-2011), B16B (10-23-2011), jackyboy808 (10-22-2011), waffleimporter (10-22-2011), Donkeyiser (10-22-2011), TTG_Viziionzz (10-21-2011), wG_Gaming (10-20-2011), TTGmodddzz (10-20-2011), XTM (10-15-2011), ToL_VooDoo (10-14-2011), LinkinPark (10-13-2011), TheHackingNation (10-13-2011), EricUS (10-09-2011), SierraMist (10-09-2011), IPhone-7 (10-03-2011), Diamond_Pickaxe (10-03-2011), Secrets (10-02-2011), FFA (10-01-2011), UnlimitedTHC (10-01-2011), -Toasted- (09-29-2011), BigfootsMaw (09-28-2011), IamAnOOb (09-22-2011), Line (09-20-2011), IrIsHkIlLa6 (09-19-2011), PerfectSnipez (09-17-2011), Appze (09-14-2011), TTG-ViLe (09-12-2011), Honest (09-10-2011), batman44 (09-10-2011), TTG_TwIsTeDApRiCoT (09-10-2011), CJ (09-06-2011), -PurpleHaze (09-04-2011), Joe_MoMs916 (09-04-2011), Matt (08-29-2011), TTG_Chevy (08-28-2011), TTGxYOURxMOM (08-28-2011), xiHEADSHOT (08-23-2011), MyGeneration (08-21-2011), sk8forlife98 (08-21-2011), elitefighter50 (08-19-2011), MystaModZzz (08-16-2011), Mr_Modern_Warfare (08-15-2011), LET (08-12-2011), NEVERENDINGxx (08-09-2011), Alec1013 (08-08-2011), NinJee (08-07-2011), TTGxBANHAMMER (08-06-2011), TRiPLeO777 (08-05-2011), bigtehpeuddle (08-04-2011), Burningpancake (08-03-2011), TTG_McMetal (08-02-2011), R3XY (08-02-2011), TTGJamiekw (08-01-2011), Toxiic_Viimto (07-31-2011), BigBallinBenjamin (07-31-2011), NZL_WOLVES (07-28-2011), Gernn_Blanston (07-25-2011), World_At_War_Modz (07-24-2011), FoRuM-_-Edits (07-20-2011), xBiZURIxM4ST3Rx (07-16-2011), Prime_x_Monster (07-14-2011), run3sc4ped (07-13-2011), TTG_LBJ (07-12-2011), LEGENDxMoDz (07-12-2011), Mode (07-10-2011), biggles1782 (07-10-2011), xCRACKERSWAGx (07-08-2011), Cihtog (07-08-2011), _moose_ (07-06-2011), Wish (07-06-2011), XxXBlackOutXxX4 (07-04-2011), funsnipes (07-03-2011), OzoModz (07-02-2011), Steino (06-25-2011), Sl1Ck_MoDz (06-23-2011), gusta (06-18-2011), Karate_Cat (06-18-2011), Frankie464 (06-17-2011), MrsBubblez (06-15-2011), main_account (06-12-2011), kkjackman (06-11-2011), imathuguaint (06-07-2011), Apexx-Boss (06-07-2011), Hacz (06-07-2011), Allan502 (06-06-2011), BLuR-x-Quiks (06-06-2011), -toureyaya (06-05-2011), -Legacy-Legends- (06-05-2011), Christina_Grimmie (06-04-2011), -Raven (06-01-2011), JustSeann (05-29-2011), NinjaNoFear (05-28-2011), legitlane555 (05-27-2011), xZyBaa (05-27-2011), Chaxge (05-27-2011), THEWISEGUY (05-25-2011), Kooran (05-23-2011), Allo1 (05-23-2011), TunaSalad (05-22-2011), Agi (05-21-2011), DiamondMoDZz (05-20-2011), TTG-DInOJr (05-20-2011), nblz (05-18-2011), G7G7S7 (05-18-2011), jrod22 (05-17-2011), -Accepted- (05-14-2011), Orangemohawk (05-12-2011), LILROCKSTAC63 (05-12-2011), S_T_O_N_E (05-12-2011), BlackAlbino (05-10-2011), elizandarski (05-10-2011), qop (05-09-2011), TooNastie (05-05-2011), iDisconnectHer (05-03-2011), TTG_EmO (05-02-2011), Cloudman (05-01-2011), TTG_SNiiPES (04-30-2011), Caramac (04-30-2011), bananapie62 (04-29-2011), Competition (04-29-2011), xF-LeGacY-xD (04-29-2011), iBear (04-28-2011), TDK (04-21-2011), Edits (04-21-2011), ControllerCentral (04-20-2011), -Twister- (04-19-2011), Wake (04-17-2011), SneakyQuavers (04-14-2011), ---TTG_unknown-- (04-14-2011), TTG_NORMAL (04-13-2011), dbols (04-10-2011), Yukihime (04-09-2011), X3NONxJTaGz (04-08-2011), Morf (04-07-2011), Aqhuaa (04-06-2011), -AMT- (04-06-2011), Lissandra (04-05-2011), Salsaman123 (04-03-2011), Jebus (03-28-2011), Ruzed (03-27-2011), ElusivePatches (03-27-2011), TTGMyTHiC (03-27-2011), fan178 (03-26-2011), ruudharrison (03-25-2011), xIJooNooxz (03-23-2011), ODST (03-22-2011), XeJakob (03-21-2011), warmice (03-21-2011), Halo (03-11-2011), iJordannnn (03-11-2011), ViIIain (03-09-2011), --RedTubee-- (03-06-2011), xkutermodzx (03-02-2011), THEHOSTV (03-01-2011), xLuunZz (03-01-2011), KlutchMuchv1 (02-28-2011), Salamence (02-26-2011), PANZIE43 (02-25-2011), liljtb (02-22-2011), Rickyricarto (02-21-2011), D3ADoJoKeRZ (02-12-2011), JerkyOrphann (02-09-2011), TTG_RAZORZ (02-05-2011), CWM (02-02-2011), -Astronomiicall- (01-26-2011), REVERSED (01-24-2011), UnDeadSwagga (01-22-2011), TTGxWARRIORzZz (01-21-2011), halemobi (01-21-2011), R3cKL3SS_KiiD (01-13-2011), Console (01-11-2011), tom_benbow (12-31-2010), riverstudd (12-24-2010), TTG_IRONIX (12-23-2010), -Jamieee- (12-21-2010), UnturnedLizard (12-12-2010), Molotus (12-12-2010), munt476 (12-11-2010), TTG_Merk3n (12-06-2010), Realistically (12-04-2010), -REDBULL- (12-01-2010), unholyrev (12-01-2010), -Gamer- (12-01-2010), xSonic_Fanboy (11-22-2010), CrustyMcPeanut (11-08-2010), Bribe (11-02-2010), x_iFlAsHeZz (10-30-2010), kingkottah (10-28-2010), jjmackay101 (10-25-2010), XeX_AGiLiTiY (10-04-2010), No-ScOpEd_JFK (09-26-2010), -Homer- (09-25-2010), TTG_sLusHyy (09-22-2010), danny29812 (09-21-2010), -Tom (09-19-2010), TheRandomGuy (09-07-2010), TTG_ChRiS_TTM (09-04-2010), Omar2020 (09-02-2010), itzHaxz0r (09-02-2010), Im_Faded (08-30-2010), SmileyMan (08-29-2010), Mr_Performance (08-24-2010), DukeCP360HD (08-23-2010), CoFo_x (08-21-2010), DopestDope_Eva (08-20-2010), V3RIFIED (08-19-2010), TTG_M3X1C4N (08-16-2010), Dekker (08-16-2010), IMODZx (08-15-2010), -Dutchy (08-11-2010), elmore937 (08-10-2010), -Sniper- (08-09-2010), HeartMods (08-09-2010), iMoDz10th (08-09-2010), -Will- (08-08-2010), PixuL (08-07-2010), Midship-Crysis (07-26-2010), TTG_ST3VEN (07-05-2010), Gaferthat (07-04-2010), Gucci (07-04-2010), -Joey (07-04-2010), Radical_Edward (07-04-2010), Th3_Stunner (07-04-2010), XBL-AB (07-04-2010), TTG_TELF (07-04-2010), Joe (07-04-2010), TTG_DASH (07-04-2010), liambhoy1888 (07-04-2010)
#2. Posted:
liambhoy1888
  • TTG Senior
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 10, 200915Year Member
Posts: 1,310
Reputation Power: 88
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 10, 200915Year Member
Posts: 1,310
Reputation Power: 88
Holy Mary mother of Jesus! Thats a lot of your mum jokes

Thanks Dale
#3. Posted:
TTG_DASH
  • Ladder Climber
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 12, 201014Year Member
Posts: 378
Reputation Power: 16
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 12, 201014Year Member
Posts: 378
Reputation Power: 16
Hahaha im lovin this post
#4. Posted:
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 04, 201014Year Member
Posts: 117
Reputation Power: 4
Status: Offline
Joined: Jul 04, 201014Year Member
Posts: 117
Reputation Power: 4
your mom jokes are awsome
#5. Posted:
G_Man
  • Retired Staff
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 24, 201014Year Member
Posts: 5,367
Reputation Power: 606
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 24, 201014Year Member
Posts: 5,367
Reputation Power: 606
your mams a mattress
#6. Posted:
NinjaNoFear
  • TTG Fanatic
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 30, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,463
Reputation Power: 228
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 30, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,463
Reputation Power: 228
Good post but all of these are really old, no one uses these kinds of jokes anymore only unmature little kids use these kind of language to offend people.
#7. Posted:
DaleUK
  • Idea Guy
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 27, 201014Year Member
Posts: 10,806
Reputation Power: 18845
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 27, 201014Year Member
Posts: 10,806
Reputation Power: 18845
Motto: Fun Fact: You have a 1 in 20 chance that your house will burn down once you become a staff member!
Theunknown21 wrote Good post but all of these are really old, no one uses these kinds of jokes anymore only unmature little kids use these kind of language to offend people.


I know.. But people still enjoy seeing them and need some new jokes to make, so i thought i might as well post this. 8)
#8. Posted:
Tyler-8746
  • TTG Master
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 10, 201014Year Member
Posts: 830
Reputation Power: 33
Status: Offline
Joined: Apr 10, 201014Year Member
Posts: 830
Reputation Power: 33
aha theseare actually pretty
#9. Posted:
TTG_TELF
  • TTG Contender
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 01, 201014Year Member
Posts: 3,130
Reputation Power: 348
Status: Offline
Joined: Mar 01, 201014Year Member
Posts: 3,130
Reputation Power: 348
hahahaha i lol`d so much at some of these
#10. Posted:
XBL-AB
  • Winter 2017
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 13, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,557
Reputation Power: 207
Status: Offline
Joined: Feb 13, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,557
Reputation Power: 207
ROFL i ♥ the your mom so fat ones im thanking this
"your mom so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the :idea: off"

i lol'd myself at that one
Users browsing this topic: None
Jump to:


RECENT POSTS

HOT TOPICS