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Fail or pass? Need advice c:
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Fail or pass? Need advice c:Posted:

Bankster
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Okay so, my English class is reading "The Sun Also Rises" and we have to write a poem about Brett and what describes her personality. This took me a solid 5 minutes to come up with.

Lonely and drunk,
her life really stunk
when Jake went off to bed.

The alcohol in her
made her a sinner
and didnt think using her head.

Willing to learn
was not her concern
when all she wanted was love.

She says she loves jake
but she is actually fake;
she needs help from above.


This is a scene in Chapter 7.


Last edited by Bankster ; edited 1 time in total
#2. Posted:
Reversing
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Haha i never read this but this seems like a good poem
#3. Posted:
Viceroy
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7.5/10 i can say, add some lines
#4. Posted:
Aah
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Sounds good. Flows well in most places. I think you'll do well
#5. Posted:
Bankster
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I'm not trying to be Shakespeare, I am trying to get a grade.
#6. Posted:
Elia
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Never read the book, but reading that poem I can tell that it flows well.
#7. Posted:
Asbo
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Not bad, i would maybe add some more lines into it to make it a little longer.
#8. Posted:
Bankster
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Once again, I am not writing a book. Just a short poem for a grade.
#9. Posted:
XenoChrist
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I have never read the book. The poem sounds good though.
#10. Posted:
CDK
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I reckon it would pass. Not that bad.
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