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I thought this was hilarious ! I hope this cheered you up and keep ur head up bro.

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"








tell me if i win in a pm thanks

back in the day I used to walk in to a grocery store
and get eggs bread candy and other stuff with 20cents..... can't do that no more, too many cameras

Yo mama so fat osama bin laden lived in her flabs for 10 years

ScHmIdTy56789 wrote The akward moment when..
Eminem is afraid.

Eminem canceled a show by my old house in boynton beach, fl because the venue scared him.

Look it up.

smuckerzzz wrote

Hope i win the 100 +rep

Holy :idea: I laughed mad hard at this.