Don't lie to her, first and foremost.

Next up it sounds like you're going through a big change in that you're dating a girl instead of a guy. There will be some emotional backlash as you ask yourself if it was the right decision. On the surface you think it is, but deep down you don't. It's like when you sell the car you had for the past 5 years, you know it's the right decision but it's hard to do.

This part people can ignore as it's strictly my opinion. Get off any meds for the depression (her and you, anyone really). Doctors hand this crap out like candy and it gives a reverse placebo effect in that now you think you're depressed and you don't feel any different from when you started taking the meds so your life is permanently screwed. It's all in your head and how you analyze things. When you screw something simple up you can either pout and say how you're a big idiot and you can't get anything right, or you can look at it and think you learned how not to do something and think of a better way to do it. I used to be clinically depressed but simply changing my thinking on the same situations got me out of it. It's hard to do to start off with and it's hard to keep it going throughout the day, week, month, etc. For example, something small happens like you spill a cup of coffee. The first words you think are probably mother Fer or god dam it, right? You can think that but them you have to think how can this bad situation be better? Oh well, it happened so I guess I'll perfect my cleaning skills while making another cup of coffee. As stupid as it sounds you actually become more open to learning new things and become happier.

My papa told me to look for one positive everyday and write it down. It seems to be working the last 2 days...

I agree with you on the med thing...

Thanks for giving your input. <3 respect man!

Vegvisir wrote Thanks for all the replies and non bullshit answers.. I'm not gonna lie.. I cried reading some of the replies...

Now.. We both accept the fact that we have depression. She actually hasn't had suicidal thoughts since we started dating and before, whenever she drove the car with her brothers in it... She thought about crashing it.. I'm so **** glad that she didnt do anything.. She never self harmed.. But came really close to it..

I on the other hand. Have suicidal thoughts.. Not daily.. but probably every 2-3 days.
I have self harmed before and I put her name on to my arm. ( I'd provide a picture but I'm not sure on TTG's allowance of that .-. )
Put random pagan signs all over my body..
And when i was writing this earlier on, I had the thought that "Why am I doing this... People have better things to do instead of helping someone like me.. I don't deserve help.. I should stop.."

We both really love and each other and cry whenever once of us get mad or really down.. I've been opening up to her about a lot of things recently.. past stuff. Like being bullied in school and some other things. Now.. With "Relationships don't fix things"

Yes, I agree... But i've been alone my whole life waiting for her.. I know.. really **** cringy but meh...

I can't just break up with her.. Yes. I do feel stressed because I worry about her even though she says she hasn't had suicidal thoughts. ( She sees a psychiatrist 2 times a week and takes her fluoxetine everyday ) But like... there is something drawing us closer. I don't want to use the word "sexual" or anything because I hate rushing things.. But i feel like she gets mad at me for not paying attention in that way.. I mean, we use to do it a lot.. but the past 2 months have been on and off, which adds more stress..

I talked to her today. And she wants me to see someone and not rush right away to meds.. But it is a good idea she said.. I will go see someone if it's really needed ( starting to think that )..

But anyway... Thank you guys for advice... I may not follow some of your advice.. But i respect that you took the time to reply to a random **** dude on the internet.. thanks <3

Please if you need to talk PM me