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#51. Posted:
Tusk
  • Winter 2021
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Joined: Apr 01, 201014Year Member
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Man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard
him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right'

Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died.

I married his widow.
#52. Posted:
Rainbow_Dash
  • TTG Fanatic
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Joined: Jul 13, 201014Year Member
Posts: 4,266
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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
#53. Posted:
Fuhstration
  • TTG Natural
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Joined: Jan 28, 201113Year Member
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TTG_T4NK wrote What do u Call a bunch of White people in a Elevator?

CrackERs


Thats was one of the worst jokes js.
#54. Posted:
Fuhstration
  • TTG Natural
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Joined: Jan 28, 201113Year Member
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Want to hear a joke about my penis?

Nvm its too long !!
#55. Posted:
-Waluigi-
  • TTG Master
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Joined: Sep 05, 201014Year Member
Posts: 855
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Joined: Sep 05, 201014Year Member
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AHAHAHAHA these are frggin AMAZING!
#56. Posted:
-Ford
  • Rising Star
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Joined: Nov 26, 201013Year Member
Posts: 713
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There was a blonde and a red head stuck on an island, and there was only one boat big enough for one person. They decide they will fight over the boat, well the red head wins and off the island she goes. After a few hours of critical thinkin the blonde decides she will swim to the shore on the other side, well as she starts her swim she makes it halfway and gets tired and turns around and swims back! lol

Think about it if you don't get it at first.
#57. Posted:
TTG_Dance
  • New Member
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Why did the funeral home have such a long waiting list? Because people were just dying to get in!
#58. Posted:
IncrediBowl
  • TTG Senior
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Joined: Aug 22, 201014Year Member
Posts: 1,318
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Joined: Aug 22, 201014Year Member
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What's a mexicans favorite sport?
Cross country.
#59. Posted:
TicketCat
  • TTG Fanatic
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Joined: Aug 22, 201014Year Member
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TheBlackCops wrote What's a mexicans favorite sport?
Cross country.
Dude I like your joke and your motto
#60. Posted:
Tippur
  • TTG Fanatic
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Joined: Feb 18, 201014Year Member
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Joined: Feb 18, 201014Year Member
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What did the pen1s say to the condom??


Answer: cover me I am going in
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